Is there the only real one - this is as age-old and debatable a question as which came first: the chicken or the egg? There is no single answer. Someone's life has several fateful and real ones, someone else's life does not have such a task - to meet their only, true soulmate, but someone else's life really has the fateful man with whom relations should be built in deep intimacy and mutual empathy.

It is rare that we fall in love with only one man in our lifetime. In ancient times, it really could have been - there was fate, a couple of tasks with which the soul came to this world. Modern human life is different - we can go through several experiences during one lifetime. It's neither good nor bad, it just is. Such as acceleration. Therefore, there are different stages of life and in each of them there is someone who is real and fatal. Maybe in one of your stages, a toxic partner was fatal, because only through him could you rise like a phoenix from the ashes - wake up and be reborn,

In this article, we will look at what we all strive for - to meet that fateful man with whom we can build a truly close and harmonious relationship. How to recognize that you have met the right one?

Signs that he is the one

You feel safe with him

The feeling of security is the basis that a woman receives in the presence of a man. And the basic aspect of how it is healthy to feel with him. Safety is not only physical. Safety is emotional – it includes respect, acceptance, support. Safety involves the emotional atmosphere and energy in which you are together. You can express your feelings, talk about your emotions, and get a safe space to express them. You know you will be heard. If you receive condemnation or criticism - the relationship is not safe.

A conscious woman is looking for a man who is mature and ready to face his inner world as well. She will not let a man who does not know how to keep promises, is not "translatable", is self-centered, is not enterprising and responsible. She would rather enjoy life alone than give her time and energy to a troublesome man who is unable to acknowledge and manage his emotions.

You feel that you have found a home

With your real person, you feel like you have found a home. You can be yourself and feel free without playing a role. Here you have to listen carefully to yourself: do you really feel that with this person you can be yourself, the authentic you, who is recognized and loved exactly for who you are, without pressure to change something in you. Because if you carry the consequences of a trauma, such as anxious attachment, then attachment and passionate love can happen exactly with the person you don't want.

In this case, your subconscious recognizes something familiar – traumatic, toxic – and is attracted to familiar conditions. Falling deeply in love, when you feel like he's the one, and your thoughts revolve around him alone, often indicate an attraction to the possibility of reliving a familiar trauma or toxic relationship.

He devotes time and actions to you

The real one does not hesitate and does not become a "Guess" game. He knows what he feels and demonstrates it with his actions. You don't have to guess whether it will or won't. It is important for him to pay attention to you. But be careful! Let it be attention at a healthy level, not delusion, fascination or worship. No matter what kind of falling in love it is, the rest of life must also continue - work, interests, family.

You grow in relationships

Healthy relationships should be uplifting, not degrading. If together with your man you feel that you are becoming the best version of yourself and he also strives for development, everything is great and right. If you start to feel weaker with him than before the relationship, stop and think - why? It's never too late to start over. But to never change the existing situation, in which you do not feel happy, loved, appreciated, is a road to nowhere.

You do not set conditions

Deliberate relationships with the conditions "if you do this to me, then I do this to you", do not lead to long-term and deep love. With the right person, there is no desire to prove or demand anything. This does not mean that no one has any responsibility and you just “flow”. On the contrary - there is responsibility, care, but it happens naturally and in the format of maturity - you both have a desire to take care of each other, support, thank each other. What is not - blackmail, threats, manipulation.

Does everything happen only easily and harmoniously in real relationships?

No, not happening. The situations are of course different. It all depends on how much you have worked on yourself before meeting. A harmonious, easy, flowing relationship is everyone's dream, but a secure, deep relationship does more, here's what: in a close, intimate relationship, you feel safe embodying your whole self as real as possible. And in reality there is also a lot of pain, a lot of experiences. But in the presence of your close loved one, you feel safe to express it. Close relationships are a healing environment that "draws out" accumulated pain to transform it in a safe environment.

It is exactly the same as in the relationship between children and mothers. Why do children behave the most in the presence of their mothers? Not because mothers are the ones who don't know how to raise their children. No, it is because in the presence of the mother, the child feels the safest and lets out the accumulated emotions. Over time, we adults have become accustomed to locking our emotions in a box due to societal norms, but we should learn from children - not to store, but to let them go. Otherwise, pain turns into suffering, physical and mental illness. Yes, it is not convenient for others, but - the comfortable people are not the happy ones.

If you are on the path of self-discovery and self-growth, at some point a misleading illusion may arise that you must be ready, healed to meet your real self. But we are never ready. All life is a process. And relationships are also a process. Spiritually and humanly close relationships can have difficult moments, but what distinguishes them from superficial relationships is that you go inside these difficulties and solve them in order to find how to be together in them, how to improve things. Usually, going through hardships strengthens and brings us closer together.

A secure relationship is like a healing mother's womb for our inner child. In fact, one of the greatest gifts on the healing journey is a safe relationship. As long as we allow ourselves to them - if we protect ourselves, do not let love near us, it can knock, but it will not be able to enter and create transformation. Love enters the room where it is waiting. Love is healing. Love is everything. Everything we need and everything destined to exist in the long run.

Author of the article: Ieva Simanoviča

Photo: Karalayne Becker Photography, Lauren Alaniz Photography