Tereze Aploka is the lover of her Ans and mother to her children - Ernest and Jasmīne Elīse. She writes a blog, shares her and her children's daily scenes Instagram , puts on a crown from time to time and admits that she does not at all fit the tag couplegoals or instamamma . Yes, and she is not married. And the reason for this is beautiful - you have to say your own name as her own, that's what her beloved man wants to say when there will be a group of children around, all involved in the bigger and smaller wedding processes of mom and dad. This is the birthday week of both Teresa herself and her son Ernest, so LĪGAVĀM invited Teresa to talk about life, relationships, already fulfilled and unfulfilled expectations.

How did the story of you and your beloved man begin?

We have been together for four years. We were in a relationship for five months before our oldest son Ernest came along, which basically means we've all grown up together over the years. I rely on cosmic sensations in my life, so I can say that meeting Anne was magical. I say meeting , because the meeting happened much earlier - we knew each other for a long time, but at that time we did not find each other interesting and attractive.

If I feel the great and right vibration that I am longing for, then I give in to these feelings. And I felt that way about Anne.

We met by chance on a bike ride and spent it together. When my friend called later and asked how I was doing, I said that I felt like I was moving on the edge of the clouds. Although I didn't understand it myself at that moment and I was completely sure that Ansis was not interested in me, my friend immediately understood why I felt that way. Very shortly after we started dating, I had the unmistakable feeling that Ansis was the father of my future children.

After five months, Ernests applied. I am quite sure that we both named Ernest , , but it is clear that he also chose our union - me as mother and Anne as father. Looking back today, I am sure that we both needed Ernest very much, who changed us and grounded us.

Ansi and I are both quite hot-blooded people, children changed us in all possible ways. During these years, we have experienced so much together that the thought of what awaits us next scares us a little.

Why haven't these adventures led you to marriage yet?

I was ready for this question. My girlfriend also recently asked if I really Pinterest have a mood board with wedding pictures. Of course I have! But there is only one photo in that folder – the couple on their wedding day with their seven children.

I want to get married when we have a group of children, and Ernest and Jasmīne still have brothers and sisters.

I want my children to see with their own eyes how much mom and dad love each other. Ansi likes the idea too. Both of us have talked about the fact that none of us wants a wedding yet - the surrounding society is rather waiting for it. When the right vibe and feel is there, we will definitely do it. This decision depends only on ourselves. And I believe that our wedding, which will take place in a year, ten or fifteen years, will be wonderful. We will grow to them.

Have you always wanted such a lovely group of children?

In fact, I spent quite a large part of my life thinking that I wouldn't have children and that I didn't even want them. Rather, I wanted to be a business shark, an artist, to create a fantastic career. And then suddenly something changed, and I realized that not only do I want children, but I want to become a mother at an early age. I decided in my mind that I wanted my first child at the age of 21.

Dreams come true because Ernest was born on the morning of my 22nd birthday - August 16, but since I myself was born in the evening, I was still 21 years old when Ernest was born. (smiles).

I really needed Ernest, he really saved me. I was an extremely harsh person, one could even say - poisoned, offended by the whole world. I always knew how to say something bad or criticize, but I couldn't encourage and encourage. I don't know why Ansis chose me the way I was then, but with Ernest's entry into the world, I was reborn as a completely different person.

Why is it important for you to depict your family's everyday life Instagram ?

Frankly, I don't know. Perhaps because with Ernest I was reborn as a new person. I suddenly wasn't afraid to show my family or say I was happy. A kind of mission consciousness also appeared in me - to show and tell how cool it really is to be a mother. I came across that the internet is full of negative discussions about children, like how often new moms don't sleep. I wanted to show that sometimes not sleeping can be beautiful.

On the other hand, you don't choose to advertise your relationship with your loved one so much on your Instagram ...

Possibly. Maybe I'm afraid to break the ideal image of us imposed by society. Afraid that they will not understand. I also never wanted to discuss my relationship in public. Probably because they are not yet a ripe fruit. It seems that if we had to put grades, Anne and I would probably fail in our relationship.

Sometimes people label us with words or hashtags – dream couple, couple goals , but in reality we are not even close to these labels. We argue sometimes more than we should, we often don't understand each other.

To be honest, I like a little bit of hurt in a relationship. Then I know it's real. We are always trying to outdo each other. In our essence, we are very different, however, what holds us together are the big and important things in life where we look in the same direction.

So your and Ansha's case doesn't seem to be constant dates and a strong romance?

We are completely unsuccessful at dating. I wouldn't have a picture or a story to attach to the hashtag #bringbackdating . Ansis has said that he would really like a date just for the two of us. I would also like to, but we haven't gotten to that yet.

I admit that with children entering the family, it is very easy for parents to lose each other. You have to find each other again.

In our case, we are also, so to speak, even fanatical team players. We do everything together with children, including working, going to festivals, events. We never had the option or even the desire to do anything without kids. Lately, however, I feel that it is starting to become suffocating not only for Ansim, but also for myself. I'm just starting to see that we should spend some time together. So far we have not succeeded, but I believe that the time will come for our dates as well.

Time spent alone is definitely just as important...

Yes, I admit that I am a bit lost in my children at the moment. I can say out loud that it is hard. I'm not complaining because it's still cool, but I'm also brave enough to admit that it's not easy right now and I'm burnt out. Sometimes I feel that my selfless devotion to children is already bordering on a certain kind of stupidity. I am a giver by nature. But now I admit my defeat. Dates both with Anne and with myself would definitely have helped me, but unfortunately I didn't realize it sooner.

It definitely takes a lot of courage to admit it not only to yourself but also to others...

I try not to be afraid to go against the grain, but it takes strength. I do not lack courage, but strength will come.

I want to be a smart woman and never forget it. Just like don't forget that I'm basically a train and Ansis is a lion, so a different animal that needs different things. I believe that relationship and love are two different chapters.

I was shocked when I realized that love is not enough in my life. Often we don't need love at first sight or soul mates at all. Of course, there should be love in a relationship, but now I have realized that a relationship is work. It's crazy how much work you actually have to do! You have to be smart in relationships, but you can't become smart if you don't burn yourself regularly. As we burn, we become better, smarter, more loving. I really never imagined that one day I could fall in love with Anne and that I would love her as much as I do now. But it happened.