Actress Dārta Daneviča has never shied away from speaking openly. She is an active social media user and on her own in the personal profile of Instagram expresses various insights - both about himself and his relationships. Dārta in conversation with Līgavām openly shares how she learned to live in the moment.

For some time now, there have been extensive discussions in the virtual world about whether and why it is necessary to position one's life in social networks. Some say - it can and should, others - if a couple positions their happy relationship so much, then in reality they are not so happy. You are an active user of Instagram - what is your motivation?

In my opinion, limits are important for any healthy user of social networks - how much the particular person wants or on the contrary - does not want to show. It's everyone's life, so I don't think it's necessary to like or bet everything people's opinions. A friend and I once had a serious conversation about why it's important for me to express my opinion Instagram , because his opinion was that for many it is an unconscious desire to show off, a kind of ostentatiousness.

Niklāvs (Darta's beloved man actor Niklāvs Kurpnieks - aut. ) was surprised that I clearly I realized why I was doing it. There are a lot of restrictions in my life - at work I have to do, look and even often only - I have to express myself as someone tells me to do it. Whereas Instagram is my personal platform where I can express only their knowledge. The pictures and texts there are my personal expression.

It is very important for me to own something where other people cannot limit me.

But I have also defined my personal boundaries, so very private things, details of my relationships, people in my Instagram will not find account. Also, I would never want to pretend to be better than I am or create the so-called - imaginary life. I like truth, unadornedness, not hypocrisy. Therefore, always follow my Instagram you can understand if there are problems in my relationship - pictures and records about the man I love will disappear.

And one more moment - I believe that men like to be proud of themselves in public. Instagram is great a way for me to highlight my loved one's good qualities, deeds, or just publicly say how great he is cool. I believe that it inspires both my man and myself.

Judging by your Instagram profile, you have literally flourished in your relationship with Niklava...

I think it is because I myself feel much different in my life and in my personal relationships. Now I know and I have realized that the reason my previous relationship failed was not the other person's fault. I totally I would definitely not want to bring into my relationship the poison that I had before - my insecurity, because of which I created for the other many people and different settings, how I think we should live. I thought we should implement some first certain laws of relationships and only then we will be able to start living. But this model does not work.

The biggest plague that has been in all my previous relationships, as trite as it sounds, is not living for a moment. But even this cannot be done artificially - everyone has to grow to such a state.

Also at the beginning of our relationship with Niklava, we had a lot of everyday arguments, divorces, conflicts and the feeling was exactly like this - nothing works. I read a lot, educated myself in order to understand how the relationship between works in general a woman and a man. These are things that aren't taught in school, and I think that's a big problem. Because education and reading a particular book in particular allowed me to look at things differently, my attitude changed, as well this also greatly improved our mutual relations.

It is possible that the ideas and scenarios we create, which we ourselves dream up, but are unable to do, are often to blame to fulfill...

I believe in the right people for life, but I think the problem is that we figure out what these the right people should be. For example, I dreamed that my real person would be a great romantic, with with whom I will read Brodsky's poetry while candles burn on all the windowsills of our home. Instead, I have it in my life now a person who does martial arts, who likes to play poker, swear sometimes, and who prefers to choose run along the sea with my dogs instead of watching the sunset with me, and actually I have that scenario a lot more suitable. Niklavs gives balance to my life, being able to look at me with teary eyes and showing me how jack actually is in his essence. That's what this story is about - sometimes we don't want to see the real thing a person to us is actually the complete opposite of our dream image of the "real" one.

What do you think - would the current Dārta be able to maintain their previous relationships as well?

I think so. And that's a realization I'll have to live with. Not because I'm not happy right now, because I am, but because I remember things I have done or said myself. From the vantage point of this moment, I see that In previous relationships, I have ruined many things myself. I actually have to get over these things to some extent – not because I regret the way it is now, but because I realize that I myself and other people I caused unnecessary and unnecessary pain. Of course, any experience teaches and improves us, but I'm still clean right now my heart can't say that.

Reading interviews with you in different periods of time, it can be observed that your attitude towards marriage is also different. Like you look at it now?

I have always wanted to get married, and to do it as early as possible. Just like my parents who married early young and still together. At this point, I am aware that I have already missed my self-imposed deadlines. Possibly that's why it's so easy now - for the first time in my life, I no longer feel the weight and internal stress about these issues. I felt it in all my previous relationships, so it was also transferred to my partner at the time.

I can really admit that I used to think about it almost every day, asking myself questions about what is wrong with me, what do I lack to be wooed and married, what makes me different from the women who experience this event… Now I can really enjoy everything that happens to me - for example, a cool day or a great time together a week during which there was only one small argument about not buying water or leaving socks by the bed.

But do you still want to get married?

Yes, that's what I believe in marriage. I also believe that there is power in traditions. My parents are a good example of this. I have them taught not to be afraid of arguments, conflicts, but to perceive them in a healthy way and a way to grow. I always am as well also admired the way parents stand up for each other in public, never bringing up their mutual disagreements in society and without putting each other down, because being in a relationship means being in a team. That's exactly how we are - Niklavs, me and my dogs

I appreciate that during this year, since we have been together with Niklava, we have gone through, in my opinion, the worst that is in me, and even in spite of that, he has stayed with me. I had a lot of disbelief both in myself and in the fact that this relationship will work out at all, and none of that has scared him away from me. This is a great compliment to me because know that even if something goes wrong, he will stay. And I see how from this difficult initial stage of our relationship have only gotten better and better.

Article author: Dārta Daneviča

Photo: BALTIC WEDDING , ELZA ELMANE, KRISTAPS BARDZINI