There is a saying - what suits everyone suits no one. Similarly, when you try to please everyone, it may happen that the result is not what you wanted. For various reasons, many of us find it easier to love others than to love ourselves. Often we subject ourselves to internalized guilt, criticism, toxic substances, and unhealthy relationships to the point where we feel anxious, frustrated, and unloved. But all these problems would be solved if we felt love for ourselves. It is a deep and strong awareness that you respect who you are, what has happened to you, take care of yourself and accept it with all the pluses and minuses.

Can this awareness be obtained by visiting a SPA or buying a new dress? In the short term, maybe yes, but will it bring lasting results? Hardly. Self-love cannot be bought with ostentatious things. That inner strength, faith and self-confidence that changes not only your world, but also how others perceive you.

4 steps to increase self-love

1. Remember that there will always be criticism

Imagine you have brown hair, but someone looks at you and says, "I don't like your blue hair!" (owners of blue hair, don't take this personally, it's just an example) . Will you feel resentful about it? Will your self-esteem be damaged? No, because you will be surprised to answer: "I don't have blue hair...". This is what happens when you separate your self-worth from what people say about you. "No, I know myself. I know who I am. I don't base my worth on what other people say . I know I'm good enough. You can say I'm not, but that's like saying I have blue hair."

2. Give yourself

this task is of unspeakable importance. Take a paper and a pen and write 50 things you would like to do/receive/hear when you feel bad. When that moment comes, don't expect others, buy yourself flowers, pamper yourself, do something from this list that will help you feel better.

3. Give to others

Everyone likes to receive compliments. Try not only to see the good in people, but also to tell them that. I guarantee you, it will improve both their day and your mood. Take the time to tell those around you that they look good, that you appreciate their work, that you are happy for their success. Trust me, once you start giving more compliments to others, you will receive more compliments yourself.

4. Enjoy without guilt

Life is meant to be enjoyed and spent with joy. Say only good things about yourself, count affirmations , praise yourself, spend time with people who make you feel good, learn to say no if you don't want to do something . Do what you like and what works for you, not what you "should do because so-and-so said so", no one knows what is right or wrong. Try, have fun, enjoy, survive!

Remind yourself every day that you love yourself! A bonus question you can ask yourself: "If I really loved myself, would I do this? If I really loved myself, would I want to damage my body with junk food? If I really loved myself, would I sit at that party I didn't want to be at?"

Loving yourself to the core can be one of the hardest, yet most important things in life. But when it succeeds, it is an indescribable feeling of happiness and gratitude that cannot be replaced by love from anyone else.

Author of the article: Liene Uresina