When we have just met and the relationship has just started, we don't know each other completely, so we ask questions. This is how we discover the facets of the other's personality, get to know the character and personality. In different situations, we discover the values ​​of the other half, the ability to solve problems and many other aspects.  As time passes, this familiarity diminishes, because it seems that we have learned everything. We no longer ask questions, we do not observe each other reaction and do not pay attention to small things, sometimes we even forget to hear the other. It promotes alienation which in the long run adversely affects or even destroys the relationship . In such cases, relationship experts recommend remind yourself of the things that attracted you to your partner and look for opportunities to renew love .

LĪGAVĀM compiled suggestions on how to fall in love with your partner all over again.

Ask questions

It is possible to use the American psychologist Arthur Aaron's 36 questions to restore love, the answers to which, even strangers being able to fall in love. Although many of them seem very simple, there are also some on the list that will make you think.

Even if the other person has been known for many years, it is possible to discover unknown thoughts of the loved one, experiences or aspects of personality. This proves that getting to know the other person can happen even after many years cohabitation. While answering Aaron's questions, there will certainly be fun moments, as well as reflections and experiences. Be open and let your emotions go.  It is the re-establishment of an emotional connection that can help bring the spark back into a relationship. Questions can be found by typing Google “36 Arthur Aron questions" .

Get to know the world of feelings

Aaron's research indicates that getting to know our partner's deep, inner world of feelings increases love. Expressing your feelings and things that we sometimes cannot admit even to ourselves, we reveal ourselves from the softer and more vulnerable side. Thus, we show that we trust the other, the ability to open up and share the most hidden thoughts. Often couples have insufficient knowledge of the inner world of the partner, which definitely does not increase the feeling of intimacy. If the partner seems to have difficulty opening up, start with yourself. Share thoughts or feelings that you have never expressed before. If also then a partner does not voluntarily engage, asks a specific question about his feelings, adding that he can reflect and answer later.

Dream together

When you become estranged from your partner, it is easy to lose touch with his desires and dreams.

If you used to know what kind of car he would like to buy or where he would like to go, it is very likely that you are currently not so sure. Dreams, like thoughts and beliefs, are changeable. So this knowledge of the other is also constant must be restored. Discovering your fondest dreams is not always easy. Sometimes we choose not to reveal them because we fear the other condemnation or criticism. Ask the other person about their wildest dreams and try to pause before expressing doubts about it success. If he wants to start his own business or travel to Europe, don't try to focus on the obstacles that could prevent this delay the dream. It will be much better if you ask additional questions and dream with your loved one. this kind of support will strengthen trust and create communication between you.

Find time for each other

Relationships are long-term work. Alienation most often occurs at moments when we devote more work and time to other lives areas. That's why it's important to find time to spend together doing things you used to enjoy, especially those that you did at the beginning of the relationship. Even if your life circumstances have changed, you have children, work every day or you are busy renovating the apartment, you should be able to find time for joint activities. If you still don't see an opportunity to break out, schedule a date, a walk, or a picnic together, just like you would schedule a visit to the hairdresser, for example. Himself the most important thing is to restore communication and emotional connection. Joint activities will certainly contribute to this.

Involve a professional

Reality sometimes does not coincide with what we have dreamed. If it seems that all efforts to restore love and connection, what previously united you so strongly, it is ineffective, help should be sought from a professional. Couple therapy and neutral parties involvement can create a new perspective for the future of the relationship. It should be remembered that the result can be achieved only if both the parties want it. If the desire is not mutual, it will be difficult or even impossible. It is important to work on relationships constantly, cultivate them and keep the flame from going out. Alienation is difficult to overcome, so it is better not to allow it.

Accept changes in the second

If the reason for estrangement is not busyness and attention to other areas of life, but changes in the other person's personality, it is necessary to understand why such changes occurred. We are constantly changing throughout our lives, the same applies to our interests, values, perception of life and character. You may need to fall in love with this new persona for yourself side by side rather than trying to bring back the past. Ask your partner questions, dream together and get to know each other as how you are now The way we were many years ago, we will probably never be again.

Author of the article: ELISA RUDZİTE

Photo: ALIXANN LOOSLE

Read also: 5 LOVE LANGUAGES