4 INFINITY CREATIONS by Dace Danga•Guoba

A marriage ceremony is such a unique, intimate and important event that it is worth considering - don't we want to say something more personalized to each other? What should be mentioned in the marriage vows and how to prepare for it - advises wedding organizer Dace Danga-Guoba / 4 Infinity Creations.

Marriage promise – oral and personal confirmation

"There are couples who are completely unconcerned about what the representative of the registry office will say, and that is their authenticity. For other couples, on the other hand, the marriage ceremony is the moment when they express something especially warm, touching and sweet in front of everyone - by giving verbal confirmation of what we express to the other party more in actions and, perhaps, not so much in words, on a daily basis", says the wedding about the need for a marriage vow organizer Dace Danga-Guoba.

It is not uncommon at weddings to feel that the expressed words or promises do not really resonate with this couple. According to Dace, there can be two reasons for this - either the leader of the marriage ceremony was not in the same synergy with the couple, or the couple did not have a sufficiently in-depth conversation with the chosen leader of the ceremony to understand whether the chosen leader will be able to carry out the values ​​of the couple contained in them when reading the marriage vows. In such cases, after the ceremony, there may be a feeling of lack of inner fulfillment - you promised each other something, but it was done through the words, energy and values ​​of another person, which do not really match the vision of the new couple.

You can write a couple of marriage vows yourself, however, it is recommended to give them to proofread and proofread by professionals - someone who deals with text processing on a daily basis or a specialist in the field of weddings, so that the final sounding of the vow is fluid, well structured and suitable for the occasion.

The promise of marriage has a certain energy

"There is a completely different feeling, whether standard marriage vows are uttered at the ceremony, or whether the couple has expressed these vows to each other using their voice, a special message and energy. It definitely has a much greater power and a further basis for the stability of the marriage. If something is decided in oneself, accepted and also verbally confirmed in the presence of others, it is given a strong, legitimate basis - the right direction and trajectory. This is purposeful decision - a true promise. I also look at it from the perspective of success - promises must be fulfilled, and what is marriage if not persistent realization of the promises made to the other person

The marriage vow also eradicates the feeling when, on the day after the wedding, it may seem that the ceremony was empty, that something was missing. What will be read by the representative of the registry office or the priest - it is not known until the moment of the ceremony. Relying on the word of a stranger is not the same as speaking from yourself and putting in exactly that part of your soul that no one else will put in. A marriage vow written by yourself will be many times more sensual, valuable and pleasant for both the other party and the guests. It is a story about authenticity and expressing the values of a couple, a new family".

What to write in the wedding vow?

If writing or articulating your feelings is not something you do on a daily basis and is given a lot of importance, this can seem like quite a challenging task. It is the same with marriage vows. So what to write?

"As many pairs as many stories. In general, a promise can be wrapped around trust, being by your side, good intentions, overcoming difficulties together. But you can also start with a story about how you felt when you met for the first time, highlight what made you reassess the qualities in the relationship and value the other even more. And don't be afraid of cute humor, it will only help! It will also be a change of atmosphere between tears and handkerchiefs for the guests. 

The main thing is to include in the oath what you want to promise each other, including yourself, and know what you want to be promised to you. We can demand from the other exactly as much as the other has demanded from himself. Everything else is an agreement", says Dace.

The wedding organizer also recommends drawing inspiration from adventures and the surrounding environment, remembering what has been experienced so far. Maybe the couple has a significant place, a name, a name, a specific saying or nicknames - all this can be put in the oath. You can play with current numbers, for example, if a significant date and the date of birth of the child is the 5th, then: "Since the number 5 is relevant in our lives, then let 5 promises go..."

Dace adds: “You should definitely not take dry samples from the depths of the Internet. The dry information will be provided by the leader of the ceremony - it will already contain guidelines about being in joy and sorrow, trust, protection, common property. It is worth investing and thinking about what it is that you want to say thanks for, pointing out what has been a very fateful or important turning point that has inspired you along the way, and what you really want to protect, promise, increase and preserve. What is the most beautiful thing to highlight between you.

Marriage vows must be neatly visually designed - printed, attached to an aesthetically beautiful base, folded in envelopes or rolled up in a scroll. You can also say the marriage vows by heart, however, most of the time the couple is worried at that moment, and it will be very helpful to have what you say on paper."

What to do if the groom does not want to write a marriage vow?

There are often situations when a personal wedding vow is very important to the bride, but it does not seem so important to the groom. In that case, however, Dace advises grooms to take a step towards their future wife: "This is a psychological factor, the intention, basic energy for the new family is put in - the man accepts his woman, the woman's nature, emotions, feelings, needs. It is an expression of respect, a manly step - to come forward and invest in this unique moment that will reverberate throughout your life. Weddings go by without noticing, and it is essential that you can look back on this moment with a feeling of fulfillment, completeness and gratitude."

Dace advises to take a serious approach to the preparation of such important words: "Whether the personality and soul will be put into the words will be felt. If you want to be sloppy, then you don't need to at all. The way we do one thing, that's how we do all the other things in life. Sooner or later it also affects married life. Are you inclined to bring the processes to the end, think, polish, think about the other person, or not - you want everything faster, simpler, so that everything is fine if both sides have equal values, but if one is more sensitive, more down-to-earth, more restrained, I would invite you to go for a good dynamic in family life.

Along with the male energy, women learn to rationalize and ground themselves, learn composure and purposefulness. It is given by masculine energy. Men also need to learn - emotionality, sensitivity, ability to adapt and be flexible. In the ceremony, we symbolically unite our feminine and masculine and strengthen it through vows.

I wish everyone to find their right person for their special ceremony of a lifetime. Don't be stingy for each other with your investment of time and kind words. Remember all the little moments, the moments of inspiration, even the difficulties that have happened, and take the best from them!"

Consulting: wedding organizer Dace Danga-Guoba / 4 Infinity Creations

The text was prepared by: Ieva Simanoviča

Photo: The Kitcheners, Cambria Shelley Photography, Thistle Wood Photo, Jonna Eliza