We often hear that love must be learned throughout life. You have to learn, because it is not self-evident, but a gift that needs to be taken care of throughout life. The demand for various marriage and pre-marriage courses proves that couples are increasingly wanting and looking for opportunities to learn how to love and improve their relationship. We asked Kristas Kalniņas, pastor of Riga's Old Saint Gertrude parish, about what their meaning is and what can be learned from them.

Which couples most often choose to attend spouse courses?

We started the courses for spouses because we understood and saw that there is a vacuum in this direction. Over the course of these five years, we have observed that couples are indeed the most diverse.

Spouses' courses focus on relationships, so people who are not connected to the church on a daily basis also attend them.

Generally, we recommend the married course to those couples who have been married for at least two years. However, the couples are the most diverse - both those who have been married for thirty years and less.

Couples are all different, but what about motivation? Why do couples choose to visit them?

The motivation is very simple – the desire to be happy in a relationship. When we fall in love, we have experienced what it means to be happy with another person, but even though a love relationship is the most beautiful thing given to a person, it can definitely be said that it is also a very complicated process.

People just want to be happy in a relationship and it doesn't matter how long the couple has been together - everyone wants to be happy.

We want to make other people happy so that we can be happy ourselves. And if we lose it somewhere, then we start to suffer - we close ourselves off, we feel resentment that the other person doesn't want something. As humans we grow and change, we have our expectations of what our marriage will be like. When young couples come to me before their wedding, I tend to ask them what is the special thing about their relationship. They often point out that it is openness and the ability to say everything. On the other hand, when couples have been married for many years, communication between the couple has often remained, but on a superficial level - in conversations about work, children, household and holidays.

However, what brings people together is not superficiality, but the ability to share on a deeper level - about how I feel, what I think, how I see this world.

Unfortunately, married friends sometimes lose this very part very quickly.

What can spouses expect when applying for these courses?

The Spouse Course is a place where couples can start talking to each other again.

After the lecture, couples are given time together for conversations, as well as joint tasks to be completed during the course. During the seven weeks of the couples' course, couples are also assigned homework - to find time for weekly dates. All this helps to restore the intimacy of love. When my wife Linda and I started marriage courses, we had been married for 15 years, and it was a not-so-pleasant revelation for us too, that if we take away the topics of conversation related to children, work, family life, there is nothing left to talk about. It sounds terrible - it feels a bit like a first date when you have to prepare topics to discuss. Now, of course, we appreciate how special this dating time is.

Couples who are just about to get married often attend pre-marital courses. What do they get in them?

Premarital courses are of great importance. They are shorter than the courses for spouses, but all important issues in the relationship are also discussed there. Two people have met and most often have been living together for some time, but do not actually know each other. Because of this, people quite often quickly break up and fall for each other. People really want to be loved and to love and often build their expectations exactly on that. If love is not the basis of everything, then it is better not to marry for other reasons. Relationships with all the love are complicated. Of course, people often learn to become like two tracks that run side by side, but they never meet and live out the fullness of the relationship. But it really shouldn't be,

because marriage is friendship in the deepest sense of the word between two people.

For information:

The course for spouses at Riga's Old Saint Gertrude Church will start from October 19. More information and application: http://gertrude.lv/kursi/laulato-kurss/

On the other hand, on October 7, 14, 21 and 28, Torņakalna church will host pre-marriage seminars for couples who have decided to get married. More information and application: http://luteradraudze.lv/aktualitates/pirmslaulibu-seminars-ari-pariem-ar-pieredzi-2/