No matter how restrained the couple is, it seems that pre-wedding stress affects almost every bride and grooms. This stress manifests itself differently for everyone - someone is more worried about practical things and for organizational wedding questions, but the big questions involuntarily arise in someone's head, is this really my real one? a person. Even if the belief is there, these questions can "come". They are not to be feared, they are needed accept

Why and what to do so that you don't have to panic and take sedative pills a few days before the wedding, LĪGAVĀM.LV spoke with psychotherapist and mindfulness trainer Ansi Jurgi Stabingi.

Stress comes from fantasizing about the future

Psychotherapist and mindfulness trainer Ansis Jurģis Stabingis points out - if a person has any kind of stress, it means that he is not fully aware of himself. "The less self-aware a person is, the more stressed he is, and vice versa. The causes of stress are not even important because its manifestations are the same.

However, before the wedding, stress is usually caused by three large groups of feelings and questions:

1. First, the big existential questions - is this really the person I want to marry, what will be our future, that will or will not change in our life together.
2. The second reason that can cause pre-wedding stress is knowing that the wedding itself is a turning point in life. this stress is not even so much about the particular person anymore as it is about entering a new status. It is new experience and we have no knowledge of it. It is something unknown, not previously learned.  Visible level, except for the status, the ring on the finger and the change of surname, nothing else changes, however, at the internal level people have these big questions about whether and what else it will change. It is an unknown thing, and how any unknown thing also has a lot of potential to worry about.
3. The third group of reasons that can cause pre-wedding anxiety is the wedding itself as an event - practical issues, related to the organization of the wedding - this stress can be regardless of whether the couple organizes the wedding themselves or not he has entrusted it to someone," says Ansis Jurģis Stabingis. He points out that if a person is capable of himself even a little aware and has practiced mindfulness, there is a greater chance that pre-wedding stress won't get to her, and even if hits, it will be easier for him to let it go, because he sees that everything in life comes and goes.

“in this life it is impossible to predict things and it is possible to deal with unexpected things. That's not the reason to worry prematurely. It's very simple - when the specific situation comes, I will deal with it too. Me I can prepare as much as I can and then I will improvise.

We must understand that we cannot and we do not need to be ready for everything. Conscious people also know how stress comes from imagining the future. But it's pointless to worry about something that doesn't even exist yet happened. such people are able to laugh at their anxiety," admits the mindfulness trainer.

No one else can make us happy except ourselves

As for the "big" questions that often come to us before the wedding, he points out that it happens because we live in illusions and somehow understand that this is not our "real" person, because

the answer is never in the other person, so no one else is the real person except ourselves.

We feel it deep inside, but since the temptation, the promise and the expectations are very high, we still hope that this is man will make us happy. We want to be happy and hope that the other will make us so. But happiness is independent size. It is our human nature that we want to find out our big questions," said Consciousness coach.

Emergency relief for stress

He points out that wedding stress is no different from any other kind of stress. Only reasons can differ, but stress the mechanism is the same. And with wedding stress, just like with other types of stress, you have to learn to deal with it on your own in life. There are usually two methods for alleviating any stress - the so-called first aid in solving stressful situations and stress prevention, or what can be done to prevent stress from occurring at all. "When we are under stress, the best thing we can do is calm down instead of running around the room or drinking alcohol or calling your girlfriend. Just calm down. This is best done by breathing slowly, paying attention to your in-breath, concentrating to exhale. We can also do this in everyday life, in situations where we are not even stressed yet. Pay attention to your own body, keeping it relaxed.

I can recommend the exercise to those brides who are currently experiencing stress.

Imagine the problem or reason that is causing you the most stress right now. Next we can look at our body postures - we can try to crouch, shrink a little, put our hands to the neck or to the chin - taking a position like poor woman's pose, lower your head and look at your toes, and at this moment look at this situation that causes us stress. Next, you need to sit firmly, lie down, straighten your back, pull in your stomach, look at up, and now look at this same situation. Finally, staying in this same position, relax your body - stately but relaxed position, with palms turned upwards, and look at the same situation again. The situation has not changed in any of these positions, but our attitude towards this situation has changed," Ansis Jurģis Stabingis explains exercises to reduce stress.

Author of the article: LIENE PÄLĆA

Photo: GATIS LOČMELIS, INTA PHOTOGRAPHY, OLIVIER DE RYCKE

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