TO INVITE OR NOT TO INVITE?

Whether the wedding will be successful - sweet, nice, unforgettable, romantic, exactly as dreamed - it does not depend on the number of guests. However, the first thing that should be evaluated and agreed upon when planning the celebration is the intended shape and size of the wedding. Do you want to celebrate the wedding in the city or in the countryside, in rented premises or on your own property, will you celebrate for two or three days, or will you hold a small reception with champagne and snacks for a couple of hours in a nice place (perhaps on a yacht, in a charming garden or on a roof terrace)? Here, of course, a very important factor is your financial capabilities, the funds allocated for the wedding - in the end, no matter how luxurious the wedding is, you will hardly be happy later, repaying the loan taken out for organizing it over the years. However, it is now up to you - so as soon as you have agreed on the form of the wedding and the approximate place of the celebration, you should start thinking about which people you want to see around you on this day! All the more so because it would be desirable to send out the invitations at least a month (but not less than three weeks) before the big event.

SO – WE ARE CREATING A WEDDING GUEST LIST!

The main rule to consider is that you both want to see this person on your wedding day!

You have been together for a long time, you have met each other's relatives, you have both mutual friends and your own, older ones - since childhood. You can each make your own list, including the people you want to see and the people you think your future spouse wants to see. By comparing these lists, it may be easier to agree.
"An often-heard suggestion is to set a specific number of guests from each side, as this would be fair and just. I don't agree with that," says Tija; there were around 50 guests at her and Roman's wedding this summer. "I don't have many relatives, and they are the godfather and godmother, as well as my parents and brother, in the order of joining positions." But my husband comes from a large family that often gets together for various occasions. It wouldn't occur to me to announce that I don't have to invite people close to my husband just because I have fewer relatives, or to demand the same number of "places" for myself, so that everything is equal. How could we plan to live together for the rest of our lives if we could not already agree on who we want to be with on this day? It may be possible if the wedding is financed by the parents and their wishes, which are difficult to reconcile on both sides, should also be taken into account, that's fine, but I don't like that kind of "accounting".

There is no doubt about the closest friends, parents, other closest ones - they will be the most welcome guests. What to do with the rest?

It is clear that you won't be able to invite everyone you would like to in the first moment in a rush of emotions - even if the budget allows it, the place for the celebration is not without dimensions. One option (unless you find it too bureaucratic) is

EVALUATE ALL THE OTHER SELECTED GUESTS ACCORDING TO THE FOLLOWING SCHEME:

WHAT ELSE SHOULD BE CONSIDERED WHEN CREATING A GUEST LIST FOR A WEDDING?

• You need to know the number of expected guests as accurately as possible, so the invitations should also be clear - for example, Anna and Jānis Lapinių; For Linda and Arthur and the like. If you have addressed the invitation to the Lapiņi family, then probably not only the two older Lapiņi will come, but their children with their significant others. If you invite the whole family, then mention everyone's names in the invitation - Anna, Jānis, Dita and Ilze Lapinių.
• Decide if the wedding will include children or if it will be an adults-only celebration, and don't be shy to mention it in the invitation as well. Be consistent and make no exceptions; a guest may be offended to receive an invitation without children, yet see that other guests have arrived with all their offspring. The only exception is the younger siblings of both of you.
• The same principle - either all or none - would be significant in relation to work colleagues; of course, this does not apply to cases where the colleague is a good friend outside of the working relationship as well.
• You can invite friends or relatives who live alone and who do not have a long-term relationship and whose partners (who may change often...) you have not even been introduced to alone.
• Think very carefully about inviting your exes - you can only do this if you both want to and you're still good friends - both of you at that.
• If your parents are divorced and both parties have other partners, be honest and open with them about whether they will feel comfortable and okay seeing their ex with someone else. Of course, you want to see both parents, but you also don't want unpleasant and awkward situations, so everyone should know in advance what to expect. If you discuss everything in time, you will already find a solution acceptable to everyone.
• In the same way, together with the parents, evaluate their wishes to see their friends at the wedding. Even if the main funders are parents, it's still your wedding, so stay firm, especially if you want to keep the number of guests you invite down; parents also want you to feel comfortable and good on your holiday!

You can send out two types of invitations - only for the solemn ceremony (in this case you will simply announce when, where, at what time the ceremony will take place); you will address these invitations to a wider circle of friends, colleagues, and to ceremonies and wedding celebrations to those closest to you.