Liene Uresin

And in parallel, the great pressure from society: be a good mother, but don't spoil the children; be successful in your career, but don't forget to be an excellent housewife; be a loving wife, but do not cut your husband; take time for yourself, but not too much; spend time with your family, but don't lose yourself; be demanding in the relationship, but don't scare him; do everything, but don't give up on anything completely!

Everything is much simpler in professional life - if you don't like your job, you can leave it. If you don't earn enough, you can put more energy, come up with other strategies and achieve more. But what to do if you don't know how to create a loving and respectful relationship ?

Unfortunately, it is not taught at school. No one teaches about the differences in the thinking of a man and a woman, but for some reason everyone expects us to simply know it, understand it, putting countless conditions on what a relationship should be. Two people from completely different backgrounds meet, with different values and perceptions of life together, money, responsibility, raising children, and now they have to put it all together like pieces of a puzzle, where only the sky and clouds alone...

What can I say now? Reaching the top of my career, I wouldn't be happy as a woman if I didn't feel fulfilled in my private life as well. Having been in a relationship for over sixteen years, I can admit that it can be very, very difficult - there are ups, there are downs, there are downs and ups again.

Of course, when I started a relationship, I also expected that everything should be in order. right now, I see down as an opportunity to grow and learn. The biggest lesson? Your relationships reflect you. It is not for nothing that they say - women attract similar men one after another.

Have you noticed that a woman who has been in a toxic and manipulative relationship attracts toxic and manipulative men even after the relationship ends and runs around the world complaining that all men are the same? It's a vicious circle - these are the relationships this woman will have and these are the men she will attract until she starts working with her beliefs, traumas and past events that keep her coming back to these types over and over again. Change yourself before you try to change someone else!

There are 6 relationship positions.

Position 1 - passionate, loving relationship

You have fun together, you have a great relationship, intimacy, passion, pleasant excitement when you two meet. You would never want this relationship to end because you truly love this person and are afraid of losing them.

2nd position - there is love, but the passion is a little subdued

You have a deep connection with your partner. Friends and family would confidently say that you are in a good, happy and stable relationship, however, you no longer have rose-colored glasses because the time of passion, excitement and fun is over. You are more like family members than lovers.

Position 3 - relationships without love and passion

You may be living together, you are comfortable, but you do not have a deep emotional connection. There may be disagreements between you, and most of the focus is on work, hobbies, family, friends, and everything else except your partner. The most difficult thing is that the partner is supposedly a good person - not interesting enough to get excited, but not bad enough to leave. However, if you both don't work on this relationship, it will only deteriorate over time.

Position 4 - you plan to leave

You are with your partner, but your relationship has been in the third position for so long that you are finally ready to end it all. You have put aside any efforts to improve the relationship and you are just waiting for the right circumstances to leave. this position, devoid of love, friendship and romance, can be extremely destructive to both you and children if you have them.

Position 5 - you are not in a relationship, but would like to be

You are currently single and would like to start a relationship, but you are afraid of repeating past mistakes or being hurt. Although this position can create a lot of negative emotions, you have room for growth and a chance to meet someone who will really love and appreciate you.

Position 6 - you are not in a relationship and you don't want to be at all

Although this position may be convenient, private and comfortable, you may be missing out on one of life's greatest emotional experiences. This is also a place for growth, but you have to be careful - do you not want to be in a relationship because you want to be alone, or because you have had a bad experience and formed a negative image about relationships?

No matter what position you are in, it is important to understand what you want to get from the relationship, so as not to lose yourself. If you are currently in a relationship, but you do not feel fulfillment and love in it, ask yourself these three questions:

• how would I rate my relationship on a scale of 1 to 10;
• do I focus on my relationships as much as I focus on my professional life;
• Do I invest in my relationship as much as I invest in my professional life?

these three questions will give you a summary of why you are where you are. I absolutely believe that people need to work on their relationships, they will not exist by themselves, you need to invest time, work, energy, learn to compromise, understand and be sensitive. As soon as the question creeps into my head, why should I work on the relationship and not him, the game is lost.

Of course, a relationship is formed by two people, and maybe my next statement may seem questionable at first, however - in order to improve the relationship, you must first evaluate your own actions, values ​​and long-term wishes. And only then can you hope for success.

Author: Liene Uresina

If you want to read Liene Uresina's book "Ar Tevi russ ir okary" and take a look at other valuable insights and her life lessons, buy it here . The book is currently translated into English and available worldwide, you can buy it here .