Preparing for the wedding seems to be just a short span of time in your long and happy life together. However, psychotherapists recommends paying attention to how the cooperation of partners is going during this time, how both feel and whether they are satisfied with each other the other's involvement.

The pre-wedding period could be a good test to check what kind of partners you will be in the future, how will the compromise work out searching and listening to each other, which is vital to relationships.

Therefore, before panicking with "does it only need me", delve into this issue more seriously.

ACCEPT HIM AS A PARTNER FOR REAL

First of all, try to get your man involved in planning the wedding, make sure you understand what it means means Namely, that you will be equal partners. So his thoughts, ideas and suggestions will also be the same great strength like yours. No matter how harmonious your relationship is and even if you understand each other from half a word, yours a man or a groom is a different person, who is unlikely to be able to accurately read your thoughts and your moments chaotic and creative description to perceive everything exactly as you have imagined it. Communication specialists with regret recognizes that language is not the best and most effective way of communication - we each perceive and interpret the world in a slightly different way, so be prepared for the fact that even seemingly self-evident and obvious things people tend to do perceive differently. And then there is the old, good logic of women and men, different priorities and a different view of things...

In a word, if you want your man to truly and from the heart not "force voluntarily" get involved in the wedding in things, he should have as much "say" as you do.

It will not be a good way of cooperation if one of you is the boss and the other is the executor. Be ready for the fact that your loved one can propose ideas that you will find completely out of line with the style or theme of your wedding, but will seem simple to him "diamonds". Of course, you don't have to agree with gritted teeth to every idea your man suggests, just because that in itself is already a lot. However, go deeper into the question and understand if this was said just for the sake of it would offer something or it is really important to him.

THE MOST APPROPRIATE WAY OF COOPERATION

For many brides, who especially painfully feel the lack of activity of the groom in organizing the wedding, it seems that the world in one would become more beautiful in an instant, if only the loved one would start to show initiative... Maybe so, but let's remember, as the British said wit Oskars Wilde: "When the gods want to punish us, they make our dreams come true..."

There is only one important rule for harmonious cooperation during a wedding - both parties must feel comfortable, no matter how this process would be organized.

Many couples also feel great when the bride takes on all the planning work and the groom invests more financially, does the bride take on the idea side, but the man implements it practically, the bride selects the ideas and the groom choose the real one or rely entirely on the bride's taste. It is important that none of the partners feel alone, as it were only she/he would need a wedding and understand why everything happens the way it does. How much each gets involved in wedding planning, is in no way an indicator of how much he/she loves the other, even in the stress of the wedding, the emotions given the upper hand over rational arguments, anything can begin to seem. There is no right and wrong cooperation, there is only ones that are or aren't right for you.

COMMUNICATION

If you feel that something is still not quite right and you gradually start to accumulate resentment for the fact that all this is only needed you, don't wait, tell your partner about it! Although it seems to you that your hints, expressive looks and the leading questions are more than enough, it may not even occur to your man that you need help. From the outside, it looks like you are handling everything perfectly, and what does he understand from all of this...

"Speak" is the key word in this case.

HOW TO INVOLVE THE GROOM

If you know clearly that you want your man to participate and be as interested as you are, try using one of the following "tricks":

• It is no secret that men like to feel needed by their woman, take care of her, protect her from everything and to all and save in every situation. So if you want your man to do more, don't pretend "superwoman" , admit that you just can't handle it, that there are things you think he could handle better deal with it, or that you just don't know what to do. A question asked in this way will look good in the eyes of your fiancé completely different, and there is a good chance that he will do anything just to put a smile on your face again.
• If you divide the tasks fairly and everyone is in charge of solving specific issues from A to Z, then sections tasks that really interest the groom . And it doesn't matter if this is traditional a matter under the control of a man or a woman - the main thing is that his tasks really interest him, and yours - you If you more or less do not care what kind of food will be put on the wedding table, but it is important to your groom a matter in which, moreover, he is well versed, so let him deal with it. There are also things that usually happen considered to be what a man could do better - musicians or DJs, song list, wedding car, alcohol, the necessary inventory - men are usually responsible for these tasks. But maybe for your chosen one are you better at "negotiating things" with service providers or planning a wedding budget more wisely? Or maybe you just can't bear to call, but your fiance has no problem with it? Then you can select information, but he in turn will call and clarify the questions of interest.
• Don't make one of the most common mistakes of brides - don't think you're marrying a baby! "Come to terms" with the idea that your fiance is a grown man who also copes with life's complications very well himself. Well, at least as much as he will teach you how to dress yourself? Yes, you probably got your bearings fashion trends are better and you have a dream of how you would really, really like your man to look like, but accept that he too has an opinion on how he will look. Suggest, gently, unobtrusively explain why something, in your opinion, is "completely cross", however, if not, then no, accept it as a fact and leave it up to him.
• On the other hand, however, remember that men and women are different. Therefore accept that most likely, your man will be less interested in the nuances that you think are super important, he is unlikely to distinguish 50 so well shades of blue and will draw attention to the compatibility of tablecloth and pompoms. Therefore, so that the wedding seems to your beloved as special and personal as you, include in the wedding day program things that really interest him (everyday), such as his hobbies, interests, music style, etc. It's been proven - your fiance will have it right away the necessary excitement and genuine interest in what is happening, which is only human.

Author of the article: LIENE PÄLĆA

Photo: LINDA LAUVA

Read also: HOW TO INVOLVE PARENTS IN THE WEDDING?