We all face traumas and painful experiences in our lives. They can leave a mark on our emotional state and affect our ability to form healthy and happy relationships. However, with a gentle approach and a set of practical skills, it is possible to overcome traumatic experiences and open up to new, harmonious relationships. I'm sharing 12 points on how to open up to a happier present.

Daina Einberg

How to help yourself?

1. Get to know yourself

First of all, it is important to understand exactly how this traumatic experience has affected you. Take time to explore your feelings, thoughts, and reactions. What is it that you allow yourself now or not allow yourself after a relationship in which you experienced emotional and/or physical trauma. To get to know yourself more deeply, you may need the help of a psychologist or therapist.

2. Accept your feelings

Do not suppress your negative emotions. Pain, sadness, anger, feeling of inferiority, the desire to isolate yourself from everyone - these are normal feelings after an injury. Accept and recognize them instead of fighting them. This will help you gradually get over the injury.

3. Looking for support

Don't be shy to talk about your experience with professionals, friends or family. The support of others plays a very important role in this healing process. Find at least one person with whom you can express everything that is on your heart.

4. Works with your self-worth

Traumatic experiences can significantly undermine self-esteem. Find at least three things every day to thank yourself and the higher powers. Working on growing your self-worth will help you regain confidence and the ability to believe in the good again.

5. Set boundaries

Learn to say No! when you need to. Remember that no one else can live your life for you. You have every right to let into your life, into your territory those people you choose to let. Respecting your boundaries will protect your emotions and prevent future trauma.

6. Study your behavior patterns

Analyze what behavior and thinking patterns could have caused your injury. What you allowed or did not allow in relation to yourself, what you did and did not do in the relationship, how you treated yourself, your partner, etc. Start to change it gradually so as not to repeat the mistakes of the past.

7. Meditate and use other relaxation methods

Practices such as meditation, deep breathing, yoga, walking, etc. can help reduce stress and improve psychological well-being. Remember that the most important thing for you right now is to regain your desire to shine and enjoy life.

8. Know yourself

Engaged in self-development and self-discovery. This will help you better understand what you are looking for in a relationship and which partners are suitable for you. Write your diary about the real you.

9. Enter a new relationship slowly

It is not desirable to immediately enter a new relationship, but sometimes it happens because both partners are looking for salvation and support. Do not rush the development of the new relationship. Put yourself first and make sure your new partner respects your boundaries and feelings.

10. Be patient

Healing takes time, and sometimes you may feel pain or fear again. Be patient with yourself and your processes. Be patient with each other.

11. Learn to forgive

Forgiveness is a very powerful healing tool. Try to understand that the past does not determine your future, and forgive those who offended you. Carrying resentment, anger, pain, sadness, you do not allow yourself to open to the beauty of life.

12. Notice your growth

Don't forget that traumatic experiences can make you stronger and wiser. Use it to become the best version of yourself. Notice every small step you take on the way to the new you. Feeling new emotions? Enjoyed the nice weather outside the window? Did you go on a date? Did you write your feelings in a diary? Any such step is already worthy of thanks! Start celebrating life again!

Overcoming a traumatic experience and opening up to a new relationship is a process that requires time, energy and effort. But it's worth it to become happy with yourself and your relationship again.

Remember that everyone deserves a healthy and loving relationship, and you are no exception!

Author of the article: Daina Einberga

Coach-therapist with 17 years of practical experience in coaching, therapy, training

Pavadone, which leads people to a happier, healthier, richer and more conscious life

@DainasPasaule

www.einberga.com