We are together, we will get married soon and then we will be a family. At first, just the two of us. Family…

When we mention this word, we clearly (?) understand what it means. So often we use the word "family" in everyday life in various contexts - there are family doctors and family discount cards, there are family psychologists and the genre of family movies, the concept of "family status", family law, family dinner, family council and family relics... When asked to name the first associations that arise when hearing the word "family", among the most frequently mentioned were the feeling of home, love, children, parents, grandparents, forgiveness, trust, trust, sense of security, childhood, responsibility. Everything is so beautiful and noble... As always, real life is different from slightly idealized ideas.
In the explanatory dictionary, the word "family" is explained as "an organizational form of coexistence of representatives of both sexes, which has formed historically and exists as the basic cell of human society; a group of close relatives (for example, parents and children) who usually live together". Family psychology as a branch of science studies how people unite in married couples, how they form family relationships and organize their life together; studies the individual's belonging to the family as a whole, which includes both the life activities of all family members, the relevant, specific time period, and national culture and traditions.
Family is not defined in the Latvian Constitution, it states that "the state protects and supports marriage - the union between a man and a woman, the family, the rights of parents and children."

Consequently, in Latvia, at least officially, the opinion is expressed that the foundation of the family is marriage. Is it also in reality?

Characterizing the era in which we live as a time of change (and many researchers even emphasize that it is a time of change, not development), traditional family forms and the very understanding of it have also changed. The concept of "lifestyle" is used more and more often instead of the concept of "family", this is also proven by statistics - about 70% of Latvian residents consider cohabitation without marriage acceptable, and about half of children are born in unregistered relationships. This has its negative side - as the notaries emphasize, "marriage or a legally formalized relationship is the only way the state guarantees some protection for family members who are not blood relatives". In an unregistered relationship, both partners are strangers from a legal point of view, and this can cause problems in many situations, not only in property relationships.

The traditional understanding of family is defended by the Christian church, emphasizing that family and marriage are Christian values. However, Pope Francis also admits that "today it is not easy to talk about marriage as something noble". He emphasizes that people marry less and less; young people do not want to get married, because nowadays the "temporary culture" has spread, at the first difficulties the couple breaks up. In many countries, the number of divorces is increasing and the birth rate of children is decreasing, but in a situation where the importance of family and marriage is weakening, the first victims are children - seeing from an early age that marriage is a connection "for a certain time", children will unconsciously follow the same path later. Young people often refuse to take responsibility or feel responsible only to a certain extent. The Pope believes that the cause of the problem is not only economic difficulties; something deeper is hidden here.

Currently in Latvia, the family is not only a Christian value, it is also a constitutional value, because the state protects this union between a woman and a man by giving certain advantages to such registered relationships, which are not applicable to unregistered relationships.

There is a prevailing opinion that marriage cannot be based on such an insecure and unstable quantity as feelings - emotions are temporary, and people are said to be polygamous by nature... Marriage and, therefore, the family as an entity is said to have exhausted itself and become obsolete. This is also confirmed by the high number of divorced marriages. Does the family still exist as a value? How are cohabitation patterns changing today? Why do so many couples choose to live together but not register their marriage? There is an opinion that, on the one hand, men are afraid of losing their independence and do not want to take responsibility; also in terms of social status, unmarried people are often valued higher, while women become more masculine, more independent and also do not want to feel obligations. Unregistered relationships are also easier to end - we tried, it didn't work, and it's not worth tormenting each other anymore...

It is often mentioned that the former nuclear family, centered on the father and mother, surrounded by children and grandchildren, is largely replaced by the social network family - children of both partners from previous (including several) relationships live together, the so-called "serial polygamy" - lifestyle with one, the other, the third, the fourth, etc. partners; intimate relationships are maintained with multiple partners at the same time and are largely accepted by society.

More and more new forms of cohabitation of people appear - for example, a couple has a stable, stable relationship over a long period of time, but the partners do not live together on a daily basis, they do not have a joint farm; the couple lives together, they have children, but the parents work and live abroad most of the year, the children live with their grandparents, and the family is only together for a few weeks during vacations and holidays; children from two, three or more marriages or relationships live with one of the parents, there are families where two people of the same sex live together, for example two women, and both have children (or one has several); also two men jointly raise the child(ren) of one partner.

It is precisely because of these various real forms of cohabitation that the society is discussing so widely the need to adopt a cohabitation law that would "ensure equality between married and unmarried couples; give adult persons living together the opportunity to solve the many legal problems caused by the shortcomings of the current legal system, including ensuring the right of unmarried couples to state protection, protecting children born out of wedlock and granting similar rights to different types of families in relations with the country" - it is mentioned in the invitation of the Cohabitation Law initiative group.
In June 2015, representatives of the Latvian intelligentsia, university lecturers, scientists at the discussion forum "Marriage, family and child in the modern crisis society", representing the historically traditional opinion about the role of marriage and family in society, emphasized the invaluable importance of the family in raising children. Academician Ivars Kalviņš, overestimating what marriage and family give to society, cited the following arguments:

marriage allows both women and men to live a life that is right for them, based on love (both spiritual and sexual) and ensures the protection of their rights in all areas; creates a safe and stable environment for children to grow and learn, an environment where there is love and support from both mother and father;

married lifestyle brings up the culture of "we" and not "I" in the family; society prepares people who are ready to selflessly take care of the good of others, who are ready to make sacrifices in order to create and raise children, ensuring the sustainability of the nation.

Declarations, resolutions, decisions... But when the question - "Well, what for Christmas?" - we naturally answer: "With the family!", we each mean our family, the one in which we feel at home, to which we belong. And is the family just papers? A child who grows up in a relationship full of love and respect does not care at all whether the parents have registered their cohabitation officially or not, the child does not even care whether the older brother or sister is real or only half... More important is the sense of security and love felt by children who trust their parents (yes, maybe not always physical), who are with them every day, relax and celebrate holidays together, go through bad things together.
Even if we don't have children yet (and maybe for some reason we won't)

– I rely on you, you rely on me. We are in this together and we need each other. We are FAMILY (whatever others call it).