Intimate is not just sex. Intimate is not just touching.
The word "intimate" has a much broader meaning. It is intimacy, letting a loved one into your field, sharing your whole being, your essence. Hearing and attendance. Sometimes just being with each other is much more intimate than making love in bed.

To be together. What do these words mean to you when you think about your relationship? Are you really together? Not only are you physically next to each other, maybe you even spend a lot of time being close to each other - you both work from home, you spend evenings together... as if together. But do you see and feel the other when you are there and with all your senses, visible and invisible? Your bodies can be next to each other, you can even go for a walk holding hands but be far apart. Or you can each be in your own country, but be really intimately close, feel the other half-heartedly and also without words. To feel the mood in nuances, to see not only the consequences, but also the causes. When needed, to be there, and when needed to give free breath and free space. Time for yourself. This is also intimacy - being able to feel and respect the other's need for a moment to yourself.

Intimacy arises when we give undivided attention to a loved one. Watching a movie together - it's neither closeness nor intimacy if you focus on the movie and you're just close, but not intimate. Going out to dinner together and occasionally turning to a flashing whatsapp chat on your phone, you are not together. Intimacy and closeness are taken away in such a scenario. They are not there.

We feel sensual touches and kisses as a deeply intimate process - and that's how it is today, because conscious touch - it's focusing attention on this moment, on the skin of the loved one, on his or her feelings, reaction, pleasure. And the reference. They are not flowers or jewels handed to you as you run past. It is an incomparably more expensive gift. The greatest to give to a loved one and also to yourself.

One of author Gary Chapman's five love languages is quality time spent together. The most important aspect for the time to really be spent together and in good quality is closeness or intimacy. And it doesn't matter what exactly we do - even sitting together in the meadow and seemingly doing nothing is quality time spent, if we focus on our loved one with all our senses, and not on the next work project.

What matters are the feelings that arise from being in true intimacy.

And this sense of togetherness and support and confidence is one of the fundamental foundations that make relationships strong and deep. In his book The Five Love Languages, Chapman writes, "Quality time doesn't mean spending moments together looking into each other's eyes. It means doing something together and the other person getting all the attention. Activity is a means of creating a sense of togetherness." It's exciting to try different activities that you can do together, whether it's traveling, visiting shows and then talking at home over a glass of delicious drink, sports - all this enriches and also brings you closer. However, the core is in the very moment of being together, in the very being.

Author of the article: IEVA KRASTIņA

Photo: SYDNEY NOELLE PHOTO , STORY OF EVE , DARIA ZLATKINA

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