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THE ENEAGRAM IN RELATIONSHIPS: TYPES ONE AND TWO

One of the most powerful tools for personal development, the Enneagram is a personality typology that divides nine personality types or nine faces of the soul. They are nine different ways of feeling, thinking and acting.

In the first series of articles on the usefulness of the Enneagram in relationships , you read about what is the enneagram , what it gives and what are the nine personality types . This time introducing the first and the second enneagram type – Perfectionist and Helper , and let's take a look at his in the world of relations.

First Enneagram Type – Perfectionist

The perfectionist is often called the neatest of the personality types classified by the Enneagram. It is disciplined, a principled idealist with a high sense of responsibility and sense of right and wrong. Set yourself high standards. Others dislike dishonesty and irresponsibility. Easily offended, can become critical under stress.

The first must learn and accept that the world is not and cannot be perfect and everything is not just black or white. A skill must be learned to relax and enjoy and to abolish self-imposed rules tending to perfectionism.

In a relationship with a representative of the first type , life becomes orderly and predictable. And most likely directly The qualities of a perfectionist, which later become difficult, were the sure basis for falling in love with this person - predictability, ability to plan, honesty, high moral standards. When you go through the first phase of a relationship, you start these qualities to see as criticizing, sawing, controlling and condemning your every step. Jealousy of the first type and control is related to the fear of losing a partner. They worry that someone else will turn out to be more attractive to their partner, more attractive.

It must be said that feelings of jealousy overwhelm the first ones for what is really important to them.

Second Enneagram Type – Helper

The helper really helps and supports from the heart, forgetting about himself, however, the inner motivation, which they are not aware of, is not the salvation of the whole world, but recognition and appreciation. In the arsenal of good qualities, the second type of enneagram has warmth, responsiveness, compassion and generosity. Easy to care and give of yourself for others. Wants to be appreciated and seen as a benevolent person. Not receiving thanks can make you emotional and demanding, even aggressive.

Others must learn to give unconditionally, without waiting for praise and kneeling in gratitude. First of all, be able to think and take care of your true wants and needs and only then get down to saving the world.

It is important to realize that the love of fellow human beings does not depend on how much we give them.

In a relationship with a representative of the second type there comes a moment when you start to feel indebted. Most likely the Helper you fell in love because of his empathy, love, compliments and your caress in joys and sorrows, but later in the stages of a relationship, you may start to feel over-controlled and experience scenes of Helper jealousy. Exaggerated worry becomes a suffocating burden.

The second type wants to constantly receive confirmations of attention and intimacy from their partner. They are sure that love overcomes all obstacles, so it tries with all its might to ignore and overcome objective obstacles without accepting reasonable arguments.