As soon as we experience physical pain, we do everything to stop it as soon as possible, and we do it even if it makes the pain worse, like pouring disinfectant on us, because our goal is to get rid of the pain quickly. However, when we are emotionally hurt, we often unconsciously suffer to see how much pain we can endure, and sometimes it can last a lifetime. We wallow in guilt, resentment, contempt, and other negative emotions, not letting them go, but reliving and “ripping open the scar” over and over again.

Holding on to resentment makes us depressed, impatient, and often even the cause of various diseases, because these unexpressed emotions reside toxically in our body until we get rid of them. But why?

What is the price of your resentment?

No man has ever benefited from harboring anger or resentment. By doing this, we want to prove our rightness - even more so - we want those around us to confirm that we are right, so we complain and complain to everyone we meet. By proving ourselves right, we feed our ego. But it is time to let go of this resentment and forgive.

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself, not to the one who hurt you

When you forgive:

• You will reduce your anger level;
• You will increase the feeling of love for yourself and others;
• You will increase the capacity of trust towards others;
• You will get rid of past events that drag you ;
• You will improve your health (both physical, emotional and spiritual).

Yes, it can be difficult, but try to understand how the person who hurt you feels. Think about what his childhood was like, what his parents are like, what his quality of life is like, and what made him want to hurt you. And remember - hurt people hurt people . The fact that you forgive does not mean that this person's sense of responsibility is reduced. To forgive does not mean to forget. We may never be able to forget. But forgiveness means taking care of yourself. It's about getting out of the victim role and taking responsibility.

A large number of people are unable to forgive even their own mistakes, constantly reminding and blaming themselves for them. But our past does not determine our future. Everyone makes mistakes. Without mistakes, we cannot grow. You can't change what has already happened, but you can take something from it to learn from. When thinking about your mistakes, answer the following questions:

• What was good about the situation?
• What wasn't as it should have been?
• If I could do it all over again, what would I do differently to get a better result?

You are what you believe you are

If you believe and repeat that you are bad, a failure, a traitor, it will become your identity. Use this little exercise instead:

• Write how you think you are (for example: I am duplicitous.);
• Cross it out and write the complete opposite (for example: I am honest and truthful.);
• Promise yourself that you will never repeat these negative words again.

Everything happens as it should. If that hadn't happened, you probably wouldn't be the fantastic and powerful person you are today. Forgiveness is the way to freedom - give it to yourself!

Author of the article: Liene Uresina

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