Mothers of brides and grooms often want to be involved both in wedding planning and on the wedding day itself. But sometimes they want to be so involved that they forget the boundaries and what is relevant to them and what is not. To avoid unpleasant situations and unnecessary tensions during wedding planning, LĪGAVĀM offers suggestions for moms to do and what not to do when planning their children's wedding and on the wedding day itself.
Do not tell others about the upcoming proposal
If you are the mother of the bride or the groom, and you know that a proposal will be made soon, then under no circumstances should you behave strangely, conspicuously or give hints to the bride about what is coming soon. Also, don't tell your relatives, friends, or acquaintances. Once you are entrusted with this secret, it should remain yours alone, at least until the bride is asked the big question.
Do not interfere with the creation of the guest list
Often, mothers of the bride and groom are so excited about the upcoming event that immediately after their children announce the engagement, they start calling their closest and distant relatives and drawing up their guest list.
This is one of the reasons why conflicts arise between parents and the young couple during wedding planning. It should always be remembered that the bride and groom will decide for themselves which people they want to see at their wedding. Although in many families parents would like to be in charge of drawing up the guest list, this responsibility should be left to the new couple.
Mothers of the bride and groom – one team
Marriage between two people means not only that they create a new family, but also that their families will be connected for the rest of their lives.
Although not all people in this world manage to get along easily, it would be necessary to find a good contact with the opposite party's family. Moms often want everything to happen according to their wishes, so it is very important that they find a common language, thus avoiding unwanted conflict situations during the wedding planning process. It should be remembered that both mothers are one team, therefore the responsibilities during the wedding planning process and on the wedding day itself should be divided equally - so that none of the mothers feel left out.
"Their wedding" not "our wedding"
Regardless of the fact that when two people get married, they not only create their own family, but also unite their families, moms should never call their children's wedding "our wedding" or "we're getting married", because it will be "their wedding" anyway, where moms are spectators.
Offer specific help
Instead of telling the new couple that you are ready to help wherever needed, it is much better to offer specific areas and processes during the wedding planning where you want to be involved. This way, the new couple will know what help they can ask for, but you will feel appreciated.
Never compare your children's wedding with others
Even if you have been to countless lavish weddings in your life and your friends just recently threw the most beautiful and remarkable wedding for their daughter, one of the things you should not do is to compare that particular wedding with others.
The dress must be coordinated with the bride
Mothers of the bride and groom want to look great at their children's weddings. Sometimes they want it so much that they overshadow not only the bridesmaids, but sometimes even the bride herself with her choice of dress. That's why it's best if you postpone choosing your dress until the bride and bridesmaids get their dresses. In order to avoid the fact that the particular dress does not fit into the wedding concept and style, it is recommended to show the chosen dress to the bride first.
Do not criticize on the wedding day
There is a saying - if there is nothing good to say, it is better not to say anything. This saying is also fully applicable to the wedding of the young couple. It is better to leave any negative thoughts, judgments and feelings at home than to express them out loud and criticize them on the wedding day.
“No” means “no”
Remember, the new couple's "no" means it. If the bride and groom have said that they do not want something in their wedding, then you should not bypass them.
Do not indulge in alcoholic beverages
Parents at weddings represent the families from which the bride and groom come, so their wedding celebration is the last place to make the new couple feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. In order to avoid uncomfortable situations, you may also need to avoid excessive alcohol consumption during the evening.
Enjoy the moment with your child!
In spite of all the chaos of the wedding and the day that flies by at the speed of the wind, find a moment to be with your child for a few minutes and tell them how much you are happy about this day.
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