One of Uģa Kuģas last Facebook posts says

"winter is the season when people have to warm each other with words, feelings and care. And then there is no fear of any cold".

In this coldest and darkest time of the year Ligavam.lv offers a conversation with Ugi Kugi. A person who has already become a kind of phenomenon, sharing his thoughts and knowledge about relationships, life and people both on the social network Facebook and by conducting lectures and participating in seminars. This time, too, we talked about what a successful relationship is and how to correctly divide roles in the family. But most of all our conversations were about women - what we are and what we should be.

You regularly give lectures on various topics. How would you answer the question that should be considered before starting a relationship?

Before even starting a relationship, both of them should understand that they will never find happiness in the other person.

It is impossible to do this. That is why a woman, by her very nature, starts a relationship only when she is happy and self-sufficient in herself and with herself. If a woman is not happy, then most likely no man will approach her. On the other hand, there is no happiness in the man himself. He is looking for a happy woman. I would like to say that the man is quite primitive by nature - ask him how he feels, and you will most likely get the answer: normal. However, as soon as a woman appears, she motivates the man. Yes, even with its constant problems. I am not afraid to say that a woman in herself is a walking problem - because only women can create problems out of nothing. In order for a man to enter into a relationship, he must be able to take responsibility in all possible ways, including financial, and secondly, a man must be able to speak, make decisions - it is not normal for a man to answer a question with "I don't know".

Here we are also talking about the role of a woman - a man in the family. What do you think they should be?

Women don't have a word for 'work', they have a word for 'hobby'. Ideally, women don't have to earn money for the family, because in reality, as soon as a woman has to pay the bills or write down the meter readings, she goes crazy. People should be aware of these roles before starting a relationship. It must be understood that a woman has to cook for a man. And not once a week, but all the time, because it is through a meal that a man receives love.

Many women would probably disagree with what you said, would oppose, arguing, for example, with equality...

I will be frank in saying that as soon as a woman is alone, she degrades and becomes more masculine. That's why she should be in a relationship. Bend as you like, but a woman's duty will always be to raise children and cook, while a man's duty will always be to take care of the family. It is a law of nature that has been operating for thousands of years. Yes, a woman can work, play sports, drive a car and do other things, but always be aware of the division of roles. A woman goes to work to relax, so a woman should do only what she really wants.

A woman's only work is love.

That is why they always strive for love, because they believe that if there will be complications in their relationship with their partner, then it will mean that they have not done their job well. For women, love will always come first.

Listening to what you said, it seems that you need to learn a lot before even starting a relationship...

Yes, that's right. That's why my friends and I came up with the idea of ​​organizing a dating club - about how to behave on dates, what to talk about, because we obviously can't do it. We don't know how to ask questions. If a woman cannot hide the truth in her gaze, then a man can definitely deceive. A man loves physically first of all - on the first date, he is happy when he sees a woman's legs and breasts. Meanwhile, a woman is able to notice all possible flaws already on the first date - be it wrong shoes or something else. Have you noticed that in the early stages of dating, men ask more about a woman's past, while women ask about a man's future plans? The process of starting a relationship should be as long as possible - we need to check and understand each other. When a woman appears in a man's life, he becomes inspired - he starts dressing differently, pays attention to things that didn't seem important before. This is exactly why a man needs to be in a relationship. If we look at 30- and 40-year-old bachelors, we see men degrading society and playing with girls - it's called fine sex. And it cannot be denied that girls like these single men, but mostly they do not know that such men do not know how to be in a relationship, they are used to their nature and selfishness.

However, if once we manage to find our real person, how to maintain this relationship?

The statistics are inexorable - in the USA only 2 out of 10 married couples remain together, while in Latvia - 3. What has led us to such indicators? First of all, the wrong reasons for getting married in the first place - often the reason is just sex. There are no correct values ​​in our society. Frankly, we don't even have anything to learn from - we live in a society that is inherently degraded. We must understand that there is no perfect relationship in this world, there is only work.

Therefore, the first thing to do is to forget about the ideal relationship. Without understanding your roles, a relationship cannot be successful.

Women should understand that a man is essentially monotonous and cannot think in five different areas at once. It may sound harsh, but for a man, love decreases with age, but for a woman, on the contrary, it increases. That's why you can't do without respect in a relationship. A woman does not have to fight a man, her strength is in her weakness. She says: "I can't" and the man will immediately be ready to help, because that's what makes him happy. A woman's strength is her tenderness. There are millions of jokes about blondes in the world, but look - they are the ones who are married. They are actually very smart women.

So the secret to a successful marriage might be to forget about the possibility of a perfect relationship?

After all, there is only one secret to a happy life together - no matter how many years pass, always remember why you fell in love with your man. Looking at one person with loving eyes for a lifetime is powerful. And so it should be.

Therefore, always remember what made you fall in love with the person who is next to you. Nowadays, people want everything so spontaneously - immediately, but if we look deeper, we can see that in the material world such a concept as love does not exist at all. People use each other aimlessly, but love in its essence does not mean that we expect something in return. If it is, then it is no longer love.