"Family relationships are the most serious relationships in our world. It is in these relationships that we can receive the highest degree of pleasure, otherwise none of us would have the desire to create them. But in the same way, it is possible to experience the greatest disappointment in relationships. A man is created for a woman and a woman for a man. Hypothetically - every man has a woman and every woman has a man. Bread without butter - it is just bread.

Relationship mentor: Zane Ozoliņa

We were created to be together, but why do 80% of marriages break up? Who breaks them? Jews, aliens or demons? To think so is carelessness. In order to properly build a marriage and remain the only and unrepeatable one for a man, it is necessary to understand what laws work in marriage. It is practically the same as the laws of physics. Knowing these laws, you will be able to build a happy and harmonious family life.

We live under very false notions of man's nature and accordingly behave based on those notions rather than interacting with his true nature as it is. Therefore, before jumping headfirst into the relationship river, it is essential to be clear about what is most important and what to remember when building this relationship.

The most important law of relations - principle of gradualness . If there is love, but there is no gradualness, love will quickly turn into unpleasant experiences. From dating to marriage, a couple has to go through certain stages that take about a year and a half (one year for some, two for others). Then it will be a well-considered decision, and not simply - "turned in and it happened".

If there is understanding between the couple, but there is no gradualism, everything can end sadly. Everything takes time. On the other hand, one of the biggest fears of women is the fear of losing time. I won't make it, I'll be old, I have to hurry, I have to live, I have to get married. A woman is not so much afraid of death as of gradually approaching it. Therefore, she is in a hurry, she is afraid to be alone, lose her beauty and not be able to attract a normal man.

You must know or at least guess the stages of growing tomatoes - seed, pod, flower, green tomatoes and then big and red tomatoes. Let's imagine that in the middle of the cycle we cut everything, chop it and put it in the soup. Of course, the aroma will remotely resemble tomatoes. But are they tomatoes? Or, for example, if we pluck a green tomato. It's like you can eat, but it's not. It's the same with relationships. It is important to go through all the stages of building a relationship without skipping a single one. And there are four in total. You will not be able to jump to a stage. Each of them is equally important. If one of them has not passed, you will have to correct it over time or return to the starting position and rebuild everything. That is, normal tomatoes will not grow. It is said that in order to build the right relationship, it is necessary to put in 4 units of effort to maintain the built one - 1 unit of effort. On the other hand, to rebuild the wrongly constructed one - 64 units of these conditional efforts. Anything can be rebuilt and repaired. If only there were strength and time, and most importantly - knowledge of what we want to achieve as a result."

Buy the book here

PYRAMID OF RELATIONSHIPS. HOW TO BUILD A RELATIONSHIP FROM DATING TO MARRIAGE

When we start a relationship, we never think about the fact that we create it with the aim of hurting the other, that we want a person next to us to criticize and with whose family we enter into a position of war. We all want to love and be loved, try to be the best mates for each other. Despite the good intentions, there comes a time when we feel changes in the relationship, we feel how the other person changes, how we ourselves change our attitude, and a feeling of powerlessness arises. We each take our own position, conflicts increase and we often move away from each other instead of getting closer with each year of our life together.

Why does this happen? In my six years of consulting experience in the field of relationship psychology, I have observed more than once that couples often lack basic knowledge in building relationships. Unfortunately, schools and universities do not teach about it, and an interesting situation arises here. To learn to drive a car, we go to a driving school. To fly a plane, you have to go to pilot school. Running a business usually involves learning how to do it most successfully. Even when we need to understand how to use a household appliance, we read the instructions carefully. However, when we start to build a relationship with the opposite sex - with a living person with whom we need to build a special interaction, we often have no idea what the psychological stages of building a relationship are and what are the peculiarities of perception and thinking of the opposite sex.

We have no idea what the other person's needs are and what processes must be followed when building relationships to strengthen their foundations. We do not know how to choose the other and what happens to us in the process of choosing a spouse. We don't realize that a man should be chosen more carefully than shoes in a supermarket, although the opposite often happens...

I am convinced - everyone has the opportunity to build a happy long-term relationship. In my book, I provide simple, actionable tips and recommendations for couples that will help build a healthy, conscious and prosperous relationship.

E-book RELATIONSHIP PYRAMID

How to build a relationship from dating to marriage" is about the nature of man and woman. About how to build a successful long-term relationship by understanding the laws of our nature. The purpose of this book is to help you understand what are the processes of "growing tomatoes" from a relationship perspective so that a couple can enjoy a juicy harvest. What are the stages that a relationship must go through step by step from dating to marriage in order to build a successful relationship What are the mistakes that men and women make when they are in a relationship?

The book is written in everyday language, without complex psychological terms, so that it is easy to read and you will receive answers to these and other important questions in relationships in the simplest possible way. Use it as a guide to come back to again and again to remind yourself of the rules of relationship building. As we know, in order for us to learn knowledge, we need to repeat it at least 200 times.

I wish you a pleasant and productive reading!

Author of the article: Zane Ozoliņa