Unless the wedding budget is unlimited, then drawing up the guest list is one of the most difficult tasks in the wedding planning process. Which friends and relatives to invite to the wedding and which not? Is it correct to invite guests without second parties?  LĪGAVĀM seeks answers to these and other questions.

Wedding budget and capacity of the venue

When drawing up the guest list, there are two main criteria that help to evaluate the possibilities of the new couple - wedding budget and the capacity of the venue. Another important aspect is the feeling of whether you want certain people to be present on your wedding day. If the new couple is paying for their own wedding, then they have the right to choose which people they want to see next to them on their special day.

If parents are financially involved in the wedding, then tradition states that they also have the right to participate in drawing up the guest list, however, in any case, the wedding should not be turned into a gathering of parents' friends and acquaintances only (this is exactly what happens in many cultures).

Sometimes you will have to make unpopular and uncomfortable decisions

Making a guest list requires the right mood and circumstances so that this task does not turn into a heavy burden.

Sometimes couples have to make unpopular, uncomfortable and incomprehensible decisions for other loved ones, for example, not inviting a relative to the wedding, so it should be expected that the new couple may also have to face some not-so-positive emotions and reactions.

You can start making a list with family members - parents and grandparents, brothers, sisters and their families and other relatives with whom you have a close relationship, for example, godparents. Once this part of the list is created, more distant relatives can be evaluated - aunts and uncles, cousins ​​and cousins, parents' closest friends. In this case, the couple must decide which distant relatives and family friends to invite to the wedding and which not to.

One of the broadest items on the guest list is definitely friends. To make it easier to evaluate which friends to invite to the wedding, the list can start with the closest friends, then include those you meet regularly, followed by friends from study or school, neighbors who have become friends, as well as those friends and acquaintances who, in your opinion, could add a special atmosphere to your wedding.

Should you invite work colleagues?

Since sometimes much more time is spent at work than at home, it is natural that work colleagues become the people we meet most often. One of the most controversial issues when drawing up a guest list is whether to invite work colleagues to the wedding. There is an opinion that you should invite all colleagues or none of them, however, the final decision is left to each new couple.

"No ring? No bring!"

Another controversial issue in drawing up the guest list is whether to invite the other half of the friends. There is a saying in the US "No ring? No bring!", which basically means that if a couple is not engaged or married, the new couple reserves the right to invite only one of the couple to the wedding.

Although this law might work in cases where the couple has been together for a short time, however, if the couple has been together for several years or even already have children, then it would be unethical to invite only one of the couple. Although each new couple decides for themselves what to include and what not to include in the guest list, you should also think about the fact that the invited guest does not feel hurt that their loving partner of years is not on the guest list.

For this, the guests could be offended much more than, for example, if they were asked to leave the children in the hands of caring nannies or grandparents. More and more couples choose not to invite the children of friends and relatives to the wedding, thus allowing the parents themselves to relax.

To be honest with yourself and your loved one

The most important rule in drawing up the guest list is to be honest with yourself and the other person.

If the bride invites all her girlfriends, then the groom also has the right to invite his friends, the number of family members at the wedding should also be proportional. It should also be remembered that everyone involved in the pre-wedding party must be invited to the wedding - if the bride and groom want to see their closest friends, they should also be included in the wedding guest list, understanding that the organization of the pre-wedding party also requires a financial contribution from everyone involved.

Photo: Lacie Hansen, David and Kathrin photography, Weddingsbymd