"Your hand will fall asleep on my shoulder.
My shoulder has never
been
so happy and warm."

We met to talk. Our eyes, our hands, our pauses of silence, our words, our bodies spoke language. It was a conversation as an event.

No correspondence, no chat, no text message. Conversation! Real, alive, personal. Like on the first dates, when the eyes stared at each other in the second person and it was not enough. I wanted to capture every word and keep it in me forever. I wanted to listen. With full dedication and full attention. I wanted to tell. Everything! Your childhood, your everyday life, your joys and pains. Or today do we find time for such conversations? When smartphones are in bags or pockets and it's just the two of us? Face to face. Not turning away, being present not only physically, but also mentally. Completely. With all the senses and feelings.

"Successful communication and good relationships
are still the most important things we can have."
(Henrik Fexeus)

If you think about it, what is it that can bring us the greatest joy in everyday life and in relationships? Isn't it a conversation, an interest, what has been shown about us, what question, compliment? Live and personal communication is like a touch that never neither technology nor progress will replace it. We just need the feeling that we are seen, heard and understood. Unfortunately - the less we talk, the greater the chance that the ability to understand and read what the other person tells us is slowly lost says.

"Digital communication is much more anonymous and isolated
than face-to-face contact. It does not provide the human, feedback
that we all need so much. In contrast, direct contact
constantly trains our ability to respond intuitively,
because we are not given time to think as it is chatting.”
(Henrik Fekseus)

Also, conversation is one of the ways to maintain interest in each other. I am sure - more than anyone we are interested, the more he/she is interested in us. The deeper our conversations, the deeper our relationship. The more often we talk, the less we have conflicts, because conversation is the only way to truth, truthfulness, revelation, pronunciation.

How to preserve the meaning and joy of conversation?

INVITE YOUR LOVED ONE ON A DATE

Talk about going to talk, listen, talk.

Silence is also, of course, a part of conversation, because pauses are an equally important part of conversation, during which thought can settle down, stay. Say that we are going on a date, where we will talk about our everyday pranks as well as ours thoughts that are important, current, perhaps not spoken in the daily run, caught in the nets, words that have not been found in the relationship, ideas for what we want to experience together, also problems that have been "successfully" postponed until now. A great place for such conversations is the sea or a walking path where there are not too many things or conditions in the way attention

ASK OPEN QUESTIONS THAT START WITH HOW, WHY, IN WHAT WAY

The meaning of the conversation is often the conversation itself, which creates a closer connection between us, the speakers, and the feeling that we have keep an eye on each other's lives, that we know what's going on in each other's lives and thoughts, because even when we live together, sometimes things can happen quite a long distance that we don't even seem to know what the other person is going through. Open questions are important for connection would create and sustain. How do you feel, why do you feel the way you do, how can I help you or cheer you up - these are some examples of how we can start a quality conversation with each other.

SET CONVERSATION AS PRIORITY

It sounds funny, but one way to remember conversations in today's mad rush is to schedule them. Agree about the day of the week or the time we turn to face-to-face conversation. Maybe during the week you can fix the topics and things you would like to talk about and the scheduled time would be a great time to tell the other what is between us to be solved, how there is a lack or what is too much, or how the other can be more involved in one of the household responsibilities.

AFTER JOINT EVENTS, ALSO SCHEDULE TIME FOR CONVERSATION

A great way to warm up or engage in conversation is to go to a movie or concert and talk after the event your feelings about the experience. Allow events to unite you in a common conversation, even if opinions differ. To share feelings, learn to listen to each other, be interested, clarify. Conversation is an art that can be developed only and just talking. In addition, a successful conversation requires the ability to maintain a listening/speaking balance so that both are equal interesting and so that both feel welcome in the conversation, like at home.

Let the conversation be a conversation between the two of you. Let the conversation not be two monologues.

***

In the morning we ask each other: how did you sleep
at lunch: what did you eat,
in the evening: how was the day.

And we both
know well,
that there are no more important questions than these,
if only -

will you forgive
me?

(Inga Pizāne)

Author of the article: INGA PIZANE

Photo: OLIVIER DE RYCKE