Spring often opens up new horizons of thought, new feelings and reflections on life events. Also love and weddings.

About what a wedding really is, what message it carries and how to say THANK YOU when getting married, we offer a conversation with soul coach, MOONLIGHT tribe and thebigbookofintimacy.com creator ININ NINI.

What exactly do you think a wedding is? What message do they carry and what should they carry?

In my opinion, when talking about rituals, which are also weddings, you should always listen with your heart and mind at the same time, similar to listening to fairy tales.

A wedding is a moment of celebration of the feminine and the masculine and the power that these two objects create when they come together.

That is why both the bride and the groom are special - it is a big day for each of them, it is an appointment to a new round. And what has blossomed between the two of them is also celebrated - it is a miracle, we strive to level it, make it a skill, but the fusion of the masculine and the feminine is a magical moment. The fusion of the feminine and the masculine is a sacred moment, a great moment celebrated and honored by tribes near and far, by alchemical mysteries, and by many esoteric and religious traditions. When two energies come together, so different and yet harmonious, a new world, new dreams are formed - from ideas to a newborn child.

I generally like the word "marriage" much better - the original meaning of the word "vest" is "marry". The origin of the word "marry", on the other hand, is clear - it is derived from the word "product". So a legacy deal. Vedības, although this name often conveys the joyfully sad story of how the bride (from the word "contract, to hire") is taken to her husband's house, where she will become the new mistress, is a warmer, more promising word. In it, you can hear more of the meaning of what I am talking about - that being together is a path, that it goes somewhere, that something new arises in it. Bringing in a new round, preparing the foundation for the new - that seems beautiful to me. Another beautiful word is "marriage", borrowed from the Libyan word "loulõ - laulda - to sing". Sing, celebrate, live, thus ushering in a new path.

How should we, people, look at weddings nowadays?

Nowadays, unfortunately, the heart is cut off from the mind and, analyzing it only with the mind, it is impossible to understand the deeper meaning of this ritual. That is why weddings are often a bare declaration of ownership - now you are mine and mine. To the rational mind, the only reason to be together is economic benefit, status, shared kitchen and wallet, security, satisfaction. The heart, on the other hand, often finds such a step unnecessary - say we love each other, what do these affirmations mean to me?

However, the ritual is the one that can connect both - the material and the immaterial. It is a clear statement that now we both will create a new world together, that now the love that the heart feels will be turned into actions - new things will be born. And that those things which until now have only been created by the mind will from this day be filled with love.

Many couples nowadays have the opinion that a wedding is only "about the two of us". However, you have indicated that it is also an expression of gratitude to parents, friends, and relatives. How do you think it is possible to find a balance between these two points of view?

A wedding is an initiation – a transition from one level to another. It is a commitment from now on to take responsibility and nurture the space of love that arises between two different opposites.

To take responsibility for the space of love, so that a new life is born in it, and what we dreamed about together becomes reality. And, like any initiation, it needs witnesses. Friends, loved ones, relatives who see this. We saw your love, we recognize and accept that you are ready for a new level, and we will support you in what you create together.

On the part of the bride and groom, it is in turn an "act" of gratitude - thanks to our parents for the fact that we are in this world at all, thanks to everyone who has seen us and been by our side so that we could happen.

My vision is that the bride and groom should plan their wedding in such a way that they have their personal time, their individual ritual, where they agree on what they will create in their love space. And then there is a time when they express this thought out loud, in the presence of witnesses, saying thanks for the fact that they have the opportunity to experience this magical moment at all.

Perhaps it can even be two ceremonies, two rituals - one deeply intimate ritual, with making love and connecting. And the second is a gift for your loved ones. But there must be gratitude and giving, so many proverbs and tales tell about it.

This is the law of the universe. It is necessary to give, it is necessary to donate, in order for the new to arise.

Why is it so important to understand and accept this "thank you" moment at a wedding?

By saying thank you, we give back a small part of the love, investment and lessons that our fellow human beings have given us. They aren't always just the best experiences, but they have shaped the two of you to this day. This is how the Universe understands that you value and see regularities, that you value your opportunity to live and experience in general. And to someone who understands, it is worth giving - this is a signal that you can give more.

How do you think this gratitude can best be realized practically?

The most beautiful gratitude is careful consideration of each visitor, a word of thanks to each one personally. And also - relaxing for a moment and letting others just be.

We all have relatives, loved ones, friends who can be intolerable, crazy, annoying, sometimes even so much that we have to throw ourselves under the table out of shame. However, the greatest gift would be to make a decision in my heart - I blessed them as they are. Let them be themselves for a moment. It is a very big gift these days. And believe me, if you let them just be, without fear and expectations, they can suddenly start behaving completely opposite, beautifully, peacefully, even surprisingly. Maybe not. However, if you perceive it as a gift from your side, your inner feeling will also change, greater peace and freedom will enter there.

What should a wedding be like, organized according to the nature of the couple itself?

There is an assumption that often men do all the "making of a wedding" for a woman - loving her, they want to give her the moment she wants so much. However, it would be very useful for a man to understand that what a woman has intuitively known and wanted (even if the beautiful dress and ball have been in the foreground in her fantasies) - that is, rising to a new level - is also his "star hour". It is an affirmation of his masculinity, his strength, his ability to take responsibility, it is his rise to a new, mature status. Wedding planning should be done with exactly this attitude - a woman from her inner, gentle knowledge and dreams for this day, which are already planted in her core. And for a man, derived from the thought - this is my day of great strength, how I want my strength and readiness to stand up, fight, be shown, prove to the world.

When it comes to wedding expressions, people are very often afraid and shy to stand up for what they like, what they are. They get carried away and do not stand up for their taste and feeling when they encounter criticism, sharp remarks, sometimes even ridicule from others. But there is only one reason and

you just have to take a patient and loving attitude - this is our day and we want to share it as we are, we want to show ourselves to the world without shame. We want to show, give, present things that excite us, that make us happy.

It is unnecessary to be shy and afraid of those around you on your big day - it is much more important to observe how you are able to cooperate and cooperate with each other, how new things can emerge between different tastes. And - if you can't stand up for yourself on your big day, be true and strong, what kind of world will you create? So how will you advocate for what you build and create in the future?

It is often heard that there are still people who get married for the wrong reasons - convenience, habit, even fear of being alone. How could this be explained?

I would rather say that people do not know or understand the meaning and potential of weddings, just as they do not realize and often do not want to understand how big they can be. Without taking responsibility for oneself, for one's growth, for the path of the soul, the main motive becomes the feeling of security - that only something does not change, that everything remains as it is.

I am not so worried about those who get married and create a wedding because they internally dream about the big day, about dresses, flowers and eternal love - they are simply naive expressions of a deeper knowledge of how important this union is, how sacred this ritual is. This naivety has the potential to grow and improve through shared suffering, trials, joy, revelations.

There is only one code - the will to grow and the desire to do it together.

I'm also not so worried about weddings guided by patriarchal thinking - a man's desire to "privatize" a woman. Patriarchal thinking has been in our blood for over five thousand years and is driven by the desire to control, structure, separate, collect. There is such a "trick" hidden there, that in fact control is already mixed with the masculine task and power to prepare the foundation, security, protect his woman and offspring. Clearing away your obsession with control may reveal a truly masculine strength to cherish your loved one underneath. This patriarchy is slowly but surely changing.

If not naive romanticism and a man's desire to rule, then what worries you?

What worries me is that we don't understand that wedding is a promise to grow, that it is transformation and growth. That in marriage we commit to learning together, that it will not be just a time of rose-colored glasses, that it will be both very beautiful and very difficult at the same time. No matter how long that commitment and overall growth is, it's a lot of work. I do not see this commitment to grow and work, people have become very "soft" and weak, categorical and unresponsive to each other.

In the ritual, there is no commitment to build a "love space" together - mostly it is a commitment to spend love, good times, good emotions, but not to create anything new and "get lost" at the first difficulties.

I am concerned about the groom and the bride themselves - what they are like before they go to the altar and are about to get married. How willing to grow? How thirsty for awareness, understanding? How truly living your life's task, how giving to those around you?

Because if two unscrupulous "snots" get together (not the young people who get married out of naivety, but the big mature boars who choose to stay in the "safety zone" and not grow spiritually) - then what space of power can arise between them?

What can they give to those around them, to the world, to their children, to each other? However, how beautiful can be what is created together by two dreaming, strong, conscious individuals - infinitely beautiful! Therefore, before we talk about weddings, it is worth talking again and again about those who are getting married, because they have big jobs ahead of them.