To gain valuable insights about love , Jay Shetty's book "8 Laws of Love" is worth reading and thinking about. We share its most important findings.

Jay Shetty defines the 8 laws of love, which tell about the different stages and forms of love. The first law addresses the importance of learning to be alone and to love yourself in order to attract love and love others. The second law tells us what karma is and that we often accept an inaccurate and simplistic understanding of karma. Shetty emphasizes that karma is a tool we can use to understand what decisions we are ready for.

The third law includes insights about love and its various understandings. In order to receive and give love, one must understand what it means to each person at different stages of life. The fourth law tells us that growth in love is possible when partners learn from and through each other. On the other hand, the fifth law adds that, even when learning together, it is important for each of the partners to set their own personal goals and engage in individual growth.

The sixth law says that in relationships you are together in everything - there are no winners or losers. Also in arguments you either win or lose together. The Seventh Law addresses the pain of divorce and deepens your understanding of what divorce means and what you can gain from it. Finally, the eighth law expresses the most essential insights about love – it is all-encompassing and infinite.

Law 1. Insights about love and loneliness

"To understand ourselves, our likes and values, we need to use our time alone, as well as the time we spend alone but in a relationship. When we learn to love ourselves, we develop compassion, empathy, and patience. We can later use these qualities to love someone else. Such solitude, not loneliness, allows us to be comfortable and confident in situations where we make choices and follow our hearts and the mind in which we evaluate our experiences is the first step in preparing to love others.”

Insights about love, the first step of which is to fall in love with yourself in solitude

"Loneliness is not the inability to love, but the beginning of love. During the time we spend without a companion, we move through the world differently, because we are more attentive to ourselves and our surroundings."

"If we constantly look for love or constantly focus on our partner, we distract ourselves from the important work of self-knowledge. If we don't understand ourselves, we risk taking on our partner's tastes and values. Their vision can become our vision."

"With the choices we make alone, we determine how we want to live, love and be loved."

"Loneliness helps you realize that you are before a relationship, during a relationship and also after it, and even when you are in love with someone, you create your own path."

"When you are in a relationship as a whole, without looking for someone who will complete you or be like the other half of an apple, you can truly get close and love. You know how you want to spend your time, what is important to you and how you want to develop. You have enough self-control to wait for someone you can be happy with and patience to appreciate someone you are already with. You are aware that you can add value to someone's life. With this foundation be ready to love without fear or craving for attention.”

Law 2. Insights about love and karma

"People think that karma means that if we do something bad, something bad will happen to us, like someone abandoning us because we abandoned someone else. But that's not how it works. Karma is more about the attitude we have at the time of making a decision. If we choose or act with or without proper understanding, we get a reaction based on that choice."

Law 3. Insights about love and defining it

"It's much better than wanting the same thing to create something together. How you deal with personality differences is more important than looking for similarities."

"We were made to fall in love, be loved, and live in love. But none of that is possible if we expect every day to be like Valentine's Day."

"We have to make mistakes, understand what needs to be changed, and work to improve the relationship. That's the only way we grow as individuals and as a couple."

"When we have overcome a challenge together, we grow, learn to be sensitive, adapt and tune in. Growing together creates trust."

"When the level of trust is high, we feel love, which makes us feel physically and emotionally safe. Our partner becomes the person we turn to with both good and bad news, knowing that he is by our side and by our side, helping us overcome challenges and celebrate successes."

"We constantly deepen our faith in each other and endlessly see an attractive side in our partner. We work to close the gaps. Love means we are willing to go through this cycle together."

"Experiencing all that a relationship has to offer means facing challenges and rewards at every stage of love. Sometimes we jump from one relationship to another because we avoid the challenges of love. You can have great fun with a new partner every three months. However, there is no growth in the cycle of flirting, rose-colored glasses and breakups, and it is continuous growth and understanding that keeps the joy of love, the intimacy of love, the trust of love, and the love of love alive." appreciation. If we never commit, we will never love."

Law 4. Insights on love and mutual growth in relationships

"A partner should be a person with whom, from whom and through whom we want to learn together, and vice versa. We learn with someone when we try something new together and then evaluate it together. We learn from someone if he has knowledge to share or use to help us. The hardest thing is to learn through someone. Living with the mind, heart and energy of another person, we grow by watching how he treats us. We have to be careful and patient in order to understand the partner's behavior and realize what we can learn from it."

"If you think your partner has to do what you want and when you want, I'm going to upset you, because then it's not a relationship, it's ownership. It's based on control, and we definitely shouldn't have that dynamic in a relationship. A good partnership is interactive, because it's also about interacting with others. We make time plans, coordinate responsibilities, coordinate our lives. But a great relationship needs more than interaction - they need growth. Love is not just about concessions or agreements, but about working together."

Law 5. Insights about love and goals in relationships

"We often think that putting the other person first is a sign of love. We romanticize the idea of sacrificing and devoting yourself to another person, and there are certainly beautiful ways to do that. But I've seen people give up on their purpose and feel confused or deceived years later. They regret their choice and resent their partner for not helping them prioritize their purpose. If your partner can to watch you give up on your goal is not love.”

"Your goal should be your priority, while your partner's priority is his goal."

"Just as loneliness helps to start a relationship with self-awareness, awareness of one's purpose also helps to nurture and develop relationships, maintaining a sense of one's purpose and supporting the partner's efforts as well."

"If both partners are actively trying to achieve their goal, the relationship will be enriched in several ways. It is a joy to live with a person who feels satisfied and happy, and it is wonderful to watch the person you love doing what he likes."

"Watching your partner grow and being a part of this journey, just like watching your own growth, is exciting and enriching. It is not always a smooth, but a very beautiful journey. When you become a part of the other's growth and he becomes part of yours, you become closer. You can celebrate success together and be together in moments of disappointment and failure."

Law 6. Lessons about love and joint victories

"Love based on honesty and understanding is deep and fulfilling, but not always peaceful. Partners who avoid conflict do not understand each other's priorities, values, and problems."

"If we solve disagreements as soon as they arise, there is a better chance of solving problems before we say what we don't want to say and later feel even worse, but we haven't solved anything."

"Every time one of you loses, you both lose. Every time a problem loses, you both win."

"For a couple to win together, act with love and the desire to be on the same team with your partner. Remember: if you act out of fear and ignorance, you have no purpose. If you act passionately, your ego is leading the argument. When we clear the ego, we begin to change the energy we bring to arguments."

Law 7. Insights on love and divorce

"We cultivate closeness in relationships by learning and growing together. I know many couples who say they have nothing in common. If they had dinner together, they would have nothing to talk about. At times like these, we tend to focus on negative thoughts and gossip, criticize or complain about the people we encounter or the things we do. When we focus on negative issues, we create a low vibration or low energy that is not When we talk in a neutral tone about daily routines, such as schedules or chores, we create a medium vibration that does not promote intimacy and love. When we experiment together, we create a high vibration that charges and connects. You do not spend time on self-improvement or learning new ideas."

"When you end a relationship, it's hard to remember that you're still whole, despite the loss. It's at this stage that all the hard work pays off. You've done everything to develop the ability to be alone. At least in your mind, you know you don't need a relationship to feel whole. You know your tastes and beliefs, values and goals. [..]Then when a relationship breaks down, you're not that which falls apart. Your expectations of a partner fall apart. That's where the pain comes in. You haven't lost yourself. It's not you."

"By letting karma take its toll, you can move on and focus on what's most important - listen to your ego, strengthen your self-confidence and transfer what you've learned from this relationship to the next one."

"What we thought of as the ultimate love - romantic feelings - can be expanded. Love creates more love. It's time to take a deep breath, start trusting love again and prepare to strengthen your ability to love."

Law 8. Insights about love and its infinity

"Love can be perfected not by waiting to find or receive it, but by creating it with everyone and all the time, and that is the greatest gift that love can offer."

"We want love in our lives, and we unconsciously accept that it must be romantic. Life is not a love story between you and one particular person. Such love is only the first step. Getting a partner is not the ultimate goal. It is training for something bigger, something life-changing, a form of love that is even broader and more valuable than romantic love. Relationships provide an opportunity to practice, but we do not have to feel romantic feelings to experience love."

“Love is available to all of us every day, and it is infinite.”

Information Source: Shetty, Jay. 8 laws of love. How to find it, hold it and let it go. Translate A. Veckalne. Helios publishing house, 2023

Author of the article: Renate Berga