"Trust is like good soil for every root that can grow into a valuable plant!"

I. Florence V.

The concept of trust can be perceived differently by each of us, both because each of us is an individual person with our own experience, and because we are divided into two genders all over the world - a woman and a man, who often look at the same thing differently. Before writing this article, I asked my husband Oskars Florens Viksni to discuss the topic "Trust" with me, so that I could look at it from a man's point of view.

In my opinion, there is no single formula for trust

I think that there are several conditions, life habits and habits that affect the formation of trust in mutual relations. As one of the examples of trust is seen in each of our families. As a child, we unconsciously learn trust from our closest people - parents or siblings, grandparents.

It is important already in childhood whether we can trust our parents as a child. Have they always been there? Haven't they cheated, lied... This is already the first, human trust that forms our own trust canons in the future. If we have a good example of trust, then we will be good examples of it ourselves.

But knowing that the world is not linear or straight, it requires awareness of various skills, such as "white lies", "tricks", "how to speak correctly" and similar. Trust can fundamentally change as we grow. It depends on different experiences in our life. Canons of trust are shifting, moving atoms on earth.

And what is the very word trust?

As my husband says: "Trust is based on faith!" And faith is the basis of almost everything we do or don't do. Without faith there is nothing. If there is no faith in the other person, the partner, then, in my opinion, a healthy relationship cannot exist.

And the good news is that faith can be sown in someone's heart and taught and - learned.

Like relationships, faith must be nurtured by each of us

And trust in relationships should be cultivated. The thing is, trust takes a long time to grow strong, but it can be destroyed in seconds. And it is the responsibility of each of us how we choose to sow and nurture each other's trust.

If we were to talk about the ways in which trust is destroyed, then of course it would be betrayal in a relationship. And it leaves a gap forever. But I will not talk about betrayal, but I will mention that in fantasy, everything often happens much more beautifully and no one has to suffer. That is, when we want to see what is happening in other doors, then it is better to just imagine it. Faith may be everything in someone's life, but others may say that faith is indifferent to them.

In my opinion, destroying faith in a person is a sin.

But can you lose trust by flirting?

Men often say they need to hunt. Because it maintains its masculine tone. And one of the concepts of such activity is flirting. Liking, sympathy - it's always uplifting. But can you lose trust through flirting? Everyone in a relationship has their own ways to keep the spark alive without breaking the trust they've built with each other. It depends on both parties involved in the relationship and of course how far each will go in flirting. If the partner looks at someone with shining eyes, most of the time the other person is angry, angry and reproachful. I don't think it's very good. Of course, you can't say what would be right or wrong, and there is no such thing as right or wrong according to one scale.

I think if this happens - spears are thrown at the smallest step of the partner, which could be called flirting, then there is no trust in the relationship between these two people from the beginning. Flirting, however, should be like a mini-sport, which is necessary for both men and women. Flirting is exhilarating, I might even say fun. It should be perceived more easily...

Of course, this can lead to long-lasting crushes. But that's another story. Reprimands, in my opinion, are related to the fear of losing the other. In my view, anger, envy and jealousy are fears.

And if there is a place for fear in a relationship, there is no place for trust.

I have often analyzed why I do not trust a person. It's like a friend, like we spend time together and everything is fine, but you don't instill trust in me, it doesn't. I want to trust, I do it in action, not with words, but still the other person flies from one leaf to another like a butterfly.

I came to the conclusion that there are people who cannot trust themselves, that is why energetically others feel that they cannot be trusted. I am one of those people who fulfills what they promised themselves and knows that everything will be done as it should be with future promises. such people already basically have a clear trust model. Trust is essential for them. But there are people who promise themselves something, but cannot or do not fulfill it.

Character? Circumstances to blame?

I don't believe it! I think that it all has to do with will in the end.  Because if I have the will to be faithful or reliable, then I will work on this will and make every effort to make it so. I will find ways to be trustworthy or faithful in the end.

If we are able to analyze the experience, to forgive, to learn from it, then we can weigh the day before, why we trust someone, and why not.

In my opinion, trust should not be idealized. For example: "Trust me, I'll jump off a cliff, and you with me, then everything will be fine!" However, each of us in a relationship has our own head on our shoulders, feelings and experiences. It is important to want to trust and to want to be faithful. Our future actions depend on this will, which also shows whether we are trustworthy and whether we can trust.

A word is the basis of trust, and has less power than an action. It would be worth downloading. Because none of us like promises that aren't kept and oaths that are broken. Trust comes with time, it must be nurtured and cultivated. And we should listen to the old wisdom that trust, although it is a strong foundation for a relationship, can be very fragile and vulnerable.

Author of the article: IEVA FLORENCE - VĪKSNE

Photo: ROBERTS АBOLTIņš

Read also: THE ART OF FORGIVING. FOR YOURSELF AND THE OTHER