Radio Pieci.lv air personality and singer Marta Grigale and musician Kaspars Grigalis have been married for almost three years. Marta admits that they fell in love quickly and passionately, and Kaspar is still the only man she can fall in love with again and again.  LĪGAVĀM invited Marta to a conversation about being together and how to learn to speak the other person's love language.

How did you and Kaspar meet?

My and Kaspar's story started unexpectedly and very quickly. We met while working together in the musical Meierovics , and we saw each other very quickly, we fell in love just as quickly.

We realized that we can't live without each other for a moment - if it wasn't love at first sight, then definitely from the second or third.

With what feelings do you remember your wedding day?

I remember the wedding with an indescribable feeling of happiness. It was an absolute blast because everything was exactly what Kaspar and I wanted and we got married while still madly in love.

The most vivid memory is the moment when I came to meet him at the altar. I cried, Kaspars cried and almost all 90 guests also cried, it was really true, beautiful and emotional. I must admit that this moment was happy and painful at the same time, because less than a year ago my dad had left this world and I missed him extremely, but I know that dad liked Kaspars and I believe that he was somewhere right there with us.

How have your ideas about what love is changed after meeting Kaspar?

It seems to me that I myself have changed a lot, but it is difficult for me to separate where these changes have affected relationships, where life itself, because these few years have hardened me thoroughly. Of course, perceptions change. It must be understood that not everything always happens as we dreamed in childhood. But that's the secret of love - staying together even when it's difficult.

Nowadays, people often adhere to the habit of not repairing broken or cracked things, but throwing them away, but the secret of long-lasting and happy relationships, in my opinion, is the work invested in them. I know it may sound a bit cliché, but I really feel that a relationship is like a garden that needs to be tended, otherwise it quickly becomes overgrown with weeds.

You have to take care of the other person as well as work with yourself, your ideas and expectations, without asking the other person for what he cannot give.

Unfortunately, we often make this mistake, even with the question "why don't you give me flowers as often as I would like"...

Of course! How easy it is to blame someone else! How easy it is to say "you should have done that", "you didn't understand", "I expected that". But it must be understood that each of us is different. I'm also learning this - not to reprimand the other person for what I think he should have done.

You are no longer the only two in the family, with the arrival of your daughter, your daily rhythm and being together have definitely changed. How do you find time for just the two of you?

The child really changes all previous arrangements, values and daily schedule. This means that my time together with my husband also has to be planned much more carefully. But we still try really hard to put a date on the calendar at least once a month when we go out just the two of us.

I'm sure that it doesn't matter where you go, which restaurant you eat at or which theater performance you attend - the main thing is the quality of the time spent together, so I'm not ashamed to say that an equally perfect date can also be at home on the sofa with a packet of chips in hand, watching a TV series or just talking.

I think that many couples will agree with me that being estranged from each other is really not that difficult. You don't even need big conflicts, it's enough that you wake up in the morning in a grumpier mood, say something wrong, and after a while you don't even understand what happened between you, everything seems stranger than usual. That's why sometimes it's good to stop and tell your loved one for a moment how much you love him and how good he is. After all, being in a relationship also means being on a team, not living in some parallel worlds.

Do you believe in the only and true love for life?

I believe in true love. But at the same time, I also know that life is hard. Therefore, I am not naive and I know that everything can happen - including that a person can have several great loves. We cannot predict and predict the order of things, we can only love and do everything to the best of our conscience so that we have the happiness of experiencing love throughout our lives. I like to be open, and I certainly don't want anyone to think that my life and our marriage are like a fairy tale.

I don't believe it's possible to live a happily ever after. I am sure that all people argue, all have different opinions, all relationships NEED to be worked on.

What do you love most about your husband?

I love him for who he is. Kaspar is the only person I can fall in love with again and again. There is something about her that continues to attract and charm me... We have fun together, that's very important. And when he plays the drums! Yes, it still has a profound effect on me. I have always been attracted to talented men and talent in general, so the fact that Kaspar is a fantastically talented musician and drummer makes me look at him with even more excitement.

What are the other things he does to make you fall in love with him again and again?

Kaspars is generally very careful and selfless by nature, he always puts others first. He also really likes to surprise me with various gifts, flowers, prepare something delicious.

We learn to speak each other's love language. For me, the main love languages ​​are touch and words, but for him, gifts and time spent together.

That's why it's very important to me that he reminds me that I'm good the way I am. Especially in those moments when I fall into self-reproach and self-criticism. I, on the other hand, am aware that Kaspar needs surprises and delights from me.

Those are probably languages you have to learn throughout your life...

I want to continue getting to know Kaspar, to continue learning how to be a good wife. I don't want to change some things in him that I don't like, but try to accept them. I want to always keep reminding him that I love him and how much he is dear to me. Learning to appreciate each day we are given.

I want to wake up every morning with the thought: "WOW, there is a person I love next to me!"

PHOTO: INTA LANKOVSKA , KRISTS LUHAER, MÁRTIņŠ CİRULIS, TOM NORDE, UNA STADE