Marriage is not only a moment in which two lives intertwine, it is also a turning point in the histories of two families. That's why it's a good time to start researching your family tree . Initially, it might seem like too large a project, so it is better to start with conversations with the closest relatives, refrain from too grandiose ambitions and let the process go. Moreover, not only historians can deal with genealogies, on the contrary, for each of us, knowing our roots can help us better understand ourselves.

The essential importance of negotiations

The answer to the question of how to start creating a family tree is - to talk with the closest relatives, parents , grandparents and, if there is this invaluable opportunity, then also with grandparents. Maybe we remember some stories of our grandmother's or grandfather's youth, which they told us when we were children, but we definitely need to ask again, because perhaps we no longer remember some details ourselves, or we did not quite perceive them accurately from the child's point of view.

A happy marriage is based not only on harmonious coexistence, but also on good relations with the relatives of one's husband or wife. Therefore, it is important to get to know not only the other person, but also his or her family, to talk about the events of the family's past together. Marriage creates a new branch in the family tree, and in order for it to blossom as brightly as you want, it is important to know on which trunk it rests.

Families and their relationships are different, but it is never too late to restore broken relationships with relatives, especially older ones, as they will be able to help you the most in researching your roots. The main thing is to behave with respect and understanding, to be patient. In addition, marriage is one of the reasons for strengthening family ties and bringing relatives together.

Recommendation for starting the creation of a family tree

One of the suitable moments to start to learn more about your origin is a wedding. It is one of the rare occasions when all the relatives meet, and this opportunity to get information should not be missed. You can ask each of your relatives in advance to prepare a short description of yourself and the family members of previous generations that you know.

You can prepare cards for guests to fill out, creating a kind of scrapbook. You can design the wedding guest book in such a way that the guests leave not only small wishes, but also tell a little more about themselves. This way, gathering information for the family tree can become part of the wedding day and keep guests busy while the couple is at the photo shoot .

Family memory chest

Before starting searches in various databases, which, by the way, are also available in large numbers on the Internet, requesting information in archives and various institutions, it is very valuable to go through old photo albums together with grandparents , to write down all the names of the people seen in them. Greeting cards, letters and diaries are also valuable. such materials will allow you to gain a much more personal insight into the lives of your most distant relatives.

A mistake many people make when starting a family tree study is trying to cover too much information and history. Therefore, it is better to start by asking relatives. In addition, the more and more detailed information is available, the easier it will be to continue research in the archives. Going to the archives with enthusiasm alone can mean that finding biographical facts can be time-consuming and resource-intensive if you don't know what you're looking for. On the other hand, if there is already self-collected information, then one thread will lead to the next and the excitement will arise to explore the origin of your family in more and more distant generations. The process can lead to unexpected discoveries, but more importantly, help you learn about yourself and your ties to your family.

Exploring your origins as therapy

Once the outline of the family tree is marked, it can be supplemented and analyzed. We are not alone in the world, we are connected to each other by various family and social ties that influence us to a greater or lesser extent, shape our views and personality. It is not for nothing that the genealogical method is used even in philosophy, studying the origin of various concepts. Also, for example, in couples therapy, tend to create genograms - family trees, supplemented with various events in the family history and mutual relations of family members.

With their help, one can help to understand how different nuances of relationships in the couple's families affect their relationship. These can be the consequences of various experiences and relationship patterns unconsciously passed down from generation to generation. Just as well, they can also be the forgotten achievements of some ancestors, which can allow you to gain pride in your family. Being aware of what our relatives have experienced, we can shape our lives more consciously.

Read also: WE, ADULTS, AND OUR PARENTS. THE ART OF UNDERSTANDING

Author of the article: RENĀTE BERGA