There is a perception that flirting is one of the basic forms of communication, and it is not reserved only for those who want to start a romantic relationship . The goals of flirting can be different - to get to know each other, to have fun, to raise self-esteem, to achieve something. As long as the intentions are sincere and good, flirting can also make everyday communication more varied and playful. Flirting is also important in the long term - with its help you can show love, maintain intimacy and reduce tension.

Start a conversation

The answer to the ever-present question about how to start a conversation is that, in fact, there is no need to complicate anything. A tried-and-true method - an inquiring comment about the weather or an event you're at works because it shows an interest in the other person's point of view, but isn't as demanding as a direct question. In addition, the interest of the other party and the possibilities for the further development of the conversation can be determined by what and how detailed an answer is received, or a counter-question is received.

It turns out that the mistake with over-elaborate opening phrases is that people focus too much on starting a flirtation rather than simply having a conversation. With the first phrase, it is important to show interest, but also to keep options for retreat. In a way, this is the essence of flirting - exchanging personal details while avoiding direct questions about them. The level of interest and involvement can also be sensed from how candidly the other person reveals something about himself.

The essence of good conversation and successful flirting is reciprocity, the sharing and exchange of thoughts and personal details, in which both speakers and listeners are equally involved in searching together for what connects them. It is important to note that a good listener is not characterized by silence and not interrupting the other, but by showing interest, providing feedback, asking questions and expressing your thoughts about what the other said.

First impression

In fact, what has just been said about negotiations plays an important role, but not the most important one. The first impression is created by the appearance, the way of speaking, but only a very small part of the impression is made by what is said. The manner of speech, gestures and expressions that accompany what is said play a greater role. We can say the same thing in many different intonations. Therefore, the phrase with which the conversation is started is not so important, because the main thing is to show the desire to start the conversation. And sometimes all it takes is a little longer eye contact.

In flirting, a lot is not said with words, but with non-verbal communication, because expressing feelings and intentions verbally involves the risk of being rejected, for example. On the other hand, body language can tell a lot in an indirect way, without risking creating an intrusive impression and without confusing the interlocutor with shameless statements.

Make you feel good

The content of the conversation is sometimes of secondary importance, because no matter what we say, how to control our facial expressions, the true feelings can still be read in posture and posture, in other expressions of the body. The main trick to show your liking is adapting to the other's body language, a kind of mirroring and imitating gestures. Of course, it should not be done conspicuously, otherwise a completely strange impression will be created.

To successfully establish contact, you should pay more attention to the other person, take care of a good mood, ideally, make the other person smile. One of the reasons we like certain people is because they make us feel good. And this can be fully used in flirting - if you make the other person smile, you are more likely to receive favors. In addition, the other person's smile is like a confirmation of liking and provides a sense of security and confidence that the conversation is mutually binding.

Mistakes to avoid

In order for flirting to turn into a pleasant experience for both parties, some behaviors should be avoided. Although long gazes are associated with something romantic, making too much eye contact with a stranger in an attempt to create intimacy can seem intrusive and off-putting. A reasonable distance must also be maintained. Of course, it depends on what kind of room and situation you are in, but you can be guided by the principle - if the other person whispers and you could hear it, you are too close. In general, you should not intrude into the other person's personal space in any way - neither with too deep eye gazes, nor by getting too close, nor by touching.

Since the purpose of flirting is to make the other person feel good and arouse liking, you should definitely not talk about negative things or talk only about yourself. People are also repulsed by platitudes, overly superficial conversations, boring and passive speech that lacks enthusiasm, as well as being overly serious. After all, flirting is a playful conversation!

Flirting is like a game, we play it for fun and with the intention of seducing. And like any game, it has its rules. The main thing is to understand whether the given situation is suitable for flirting. Flirting is mostly an intuitive game, and the most important thing in it is often left unsaid, only hinted at. Therefore, it is very important to think about the way in which flirting is done so as not to cause misunderstandings.

Author of the article: Renate Berga